First time posting

Feeling so lost and empty lost my husband we were together 47 years and i dont know how to be without him

7 Likes

So sorry for your loss it’s difficult was 45 years for us we don’t know anything different do we , hope you have support take everything that’s offered take care Xx

3 Likes

Sorry to here of your loss.
Everything has now changed for us not what we wanted but now the new norm.
Everyone on this forum are going through these feelings grief will come and go but never really leave us. Trying to exist now is strange and planning ahead is non existence
It has been 5 months for me and still have days when i cry and get upset but know i have to get through the time ahead best way i can.
I hope you can take your time to get through the days ahead and dont plan too far ahead. Take time to speak to other’s here who will help you get through days ahead put your feelings down and someone will help you Remember you are not alone. Take care Lynne x

2 Likes

Thank you so much for your reply it’s a comfort to know that there are those that no the pain that we are all experiencing and reaching out to help
Take care

2 Likes

Thank you for reaching out to me I take great comfort from it
Take care x

2 Likes

@Avis1 Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband after 40 years of marriage 45 days ago. We were together for 46 and a half years. i understand your feelings of lost and emptiness. I have cried my eyes out every morning for the last 45 days knowign that i will never see him again. I undestand that I need to take one day at a time. The loneliness I feel in the evenings and weekends are unbearable but we all have to travel this horrible journey. Please keep posting how you feel as everyone in this forum is in the same boat and understand what you are going through and will support. This is what I have found helped me. Please reach out to your friends and family who I am sure will want to support you. I do not have any family and friends near me so I found this forum so helpful. Please take care of yourself and take one day at a time. Big hugs xx

3 Likes

Hi @StarGate
I like yourself have no nearby family support.
So having to deal on my own.
I do have a granddaughter who is a so single mum with a great grandson who turned one the week before my husband passed. He did not see his birthday but i did send photos to his phone.
She still stays about 3hrs away but we keep in touch by text and i will try to visit at least once a month if i can. Even though she has her own life and i cant put my grief o her.
Otherwise just me to face putting things back together. I am sure it may take some time but we just have to cope now new world. Take care Lynne x

2 Likes

@Galaxy75 Hi Lynne, it’s hard isn’t it coping on your own. I hope you manage to see your granddaughter regularly. My sister in law lives about 5 hours away from me. I cannot visit her as I can’t leave my mum on her own. However, I do message her. I hope thayin time we will all cope better. Take care xx

2 Likes

I know its hard and the weekends are long.
I dont drive so struggling to use public transport. My husband did all the driving DIY garden so i never bothered.
I hate the dark long nights in the winter.
We just used to shut curtains and stay indoors and it was just the two of us. Now not the same on your own too quiet and although i still talk to him as if he’s still around no one to talk back.
I still have my hospital check up and this will be the 1st time in 2 years he is not here.
I had ovarian cancer in Nov 2020 and 2 operations in 2021. Now 6 monthly check ups for 10 years. I feel ok and my levels have been good for 2 years but still appointment on your own not so good.
I will miss our holidays we both liked to travel on my own now makes me feel :pensive: sad at the moment.
Take care x

3 Likes

@Galaxy75 I agree the weekends are long and the long dark nights don’t help - makes it very lonely. I talk to my husband as well. I hope your hospital appointment goes well. It must be hard to attend it on your own. My husband and I love to travel too. We planned to retire next year and do all the things on our long list. That will not happen now. I don’t think I can do it on my own so I can understand your sadness. It all seems so unfair. Please take care of yourself. xx

4 Likes

Hi
We just retired. Kevin took early retirement in Feb 23 and passed away in Jun 23 so not much of a retirement. I retired early when i got my cancer scare but worked part time for charities especially Macmillan. Officially retired this month but will eventually do some volunteering work when i feel upto it.
I am trying hard to get by but some days you do not speak or see anyone and thats hard to deal with.
At least volunteering gets me out the house and seeing other people too.
Take care Lynne x

3 Likes

I am finding it so hard to carry on without my les he was my world.my stress is awful I am on medication but just feel terrible. Friends and family are amazing but I just want my old life back. So hard x

1 Like

Hardest thing ever

3 Likes

@Galaxy75 @Debbie25 Today is day 46 since I lost my Tony my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life and my world. He my reason for being here. Crying uncontrollably again with the pain of losing Tony. I know he would want me to carry on but I cannot see the reason why at the moment so I know how both of you feel. Losing your life partner is hard and unfair when you have so much planned for - a future that is non existent. I hope that we all will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take care Joyce xx

1 Like

Morning @StarGate
Today for some reason unable to sleep up early and bit weepy dont know why just feeling a bit upset could be because i found photos of holiday 10 years ago when i was on holiday with my husband and mum.
Mum now has alzheimers and has forgotten my husband so sad. I have lost my husband but cant talk to my mum about how Im feeling.
So i know how youre feeling just now cause early days for yourself.
I can say some days i feel better but i know that can change any moment and the grief comes back. We can only now live in the moment in this world. Take it easy look afrer yourself and carry on. Hope today is better than yesterday.
Sending hugs Lynne x

@Galaxy75 Morning, I have been up at this time every day since I lost Tony - can’t sleep.
Memories can be hard because you realise what you are missing. It’s a shame you can’t talk to your mum about your husband. I’m in the same boat. Since my mum’s stroke her short term memory is bad so she doesn’t remember things so I can’t talk to her either about my feelings. I keep going at the moment because I look after her. I hope that the rest of the day will be better for both of us. Thank you for the hugs and I am sending you hugs as well. Take care. Joyce xx

I have to get up early as carer came at 07:00 but wouldn’t matter as I would have been up. This will be a hard day. 5 months exactly since Norman died. I cry a couple of times most days. Tomorrow even though carer not coming until 08:30 I will probably still be up at 06:00. I don’t seem to be able to lie in. At least it’s not raining yet.
Hope you all find a way to survive the day. Xx. Sandra

2 Likes

Mornings always seem hard sat here crying my bob was my world I have two wonderful children who are trying hard to support me but it’s so hard for them as they have lost their beautiful dad
We feel like lost souls

I know its not easy for any of us anymore.
We were not prepared dont think we would ever be. I dont know if my husband could have coped with this heartache :broken_heart: we niw find daily.
Anyway take care have a good monday
Hugs to you all
Lynne x

Thank you, yes it’s early days for us both, but the longing and emptiness is so hard to bear I’m so sorry. for your loss I just pray we can all find comfort and support to get us through this terrible time
sending you hugs