Hi everyone
It will be five years this June that I lost Ian but to me, it only seems like yesterday. How I’ve got through the last five years I don’t know ….
What I find so hard to deal with now is that everyone around me can’t understand why I’m still grieving. So, I’ve learnt to keep that part of me hidden now…..
I’ve done everything you’re told to do, make new friends, volunteer , take up a new hobby, garden etc but nothing can ease the loneliness and heartache I feel when I’m all alone in the home we made together.
I wish I could offer more comfort to the recently bereaved. In a way life does get easier as you have to cope but will the sadness and tears ever go, in my case they haven’t…….
Take care of yourselves
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Hi trixie
It will be 6yrs in sept this year for me and my pain and crying never goes away its when you are in your own and there is no one to talk to no one to snuggle up on the sofa with or even give you a hug this is what we are reduced to talking to other people about our grief family well they don’t get it at all one brother told me to just life with it how am I supposed to get on with it for my family I put a face on and they never see my grief I hide it never thought I would.be on my own it us so lovely to find someone who has been in this as long as me and who speaks my language I thought I was so on my own till now thank you for that and maybe we can talk and help each other
Sweetlady
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Hi. and sorry for your loss, I agree wholeheartedly with you. I’m just seven months into my grief after losing my partner of 40 years. It totally amazes me that some people think there’s a timeline on grieving. I think that I make people uncomfortable because of the way I feel. I keep getting told that it gets easier but I don’t expect to feel better. How do you unravel 40 years of loving and being with someone? You’re still just functioning at five years and that’s ok. You’re entitled to feel like that, your grief is personal to you. I wouldn’t expect much understanding from people who have never walked this road themselves even though they’re family. Keep posting on here at least your feelings will be validated.
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Hi norma 1
I find some people don’t and some just think get on with your life how can I I was married for 44yrs to the kindest gentleman I could ever wish to find there will never be a guy like that again if I ever found someone half as good as him I would be so.lucky but that’s never going to happen not for me I am not the nice 25yr old that most men want I am older I may have put weight on and have some health issues but see past that and there is kind loving caring sarah I think the only guy that ever saw that was paul and no other man ever will because we are meant to travel this road on our own iys just my feelings and they maybe wrong I do not know that do I.
Sweetlady
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Hi,
It’s fast approaching 4 years for me on August 24th. I have no idea how that is even possible. I still don’t believe it’s actually true. Im sad all the time. Time has not helped. It’s made it even worse, because it’s longer ago since he was with me, and I’ve missed him for longer, and he’s missing so much down here.
No-one else cares anymore, no-one asks if I’m okay, everyone thinks I’m okay because I keep going. Get up, go to work, function. But I’m not okay. I’m broken. And I will be until my time comes, and we’re reunited, or not?! I choose to believe the first because it’s easier that way, and if I’m wrong I won’t know!
No-one else says his name. I do all the time, every day. Still write his name in all cards I send (and I always will). Still say ‘we’ . I hate the word ‘I’ I’ve made it my mission in life to keep him, Phil, ‘MY Phil’ alive in everyone’s mind. While I’m alive I will not let him be forgotten.
It’s such a sad, lonely, long journey we are all on. I send love, hugs and strength to you all
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Hi Trixie this past February 19th has been 6 years since my husband Dan left us .
He was battling stage 4 esophagus/ stomach cancer .that they found when he ended up with pneumonia from a triple bypass. What took my husband away was we assume he blacked out at the wheel and crashed into trees 2 miles from our front door . He was almost home it makes me so angry . Six hours of surgery and the medical team missed a brain bleed .
I’m told his heart stopped andit took 45 minutes to get him back ! I wish I knew why they did that to him ! To me our children leaving us to have to choose to leave him on life support and wait until his heart stops again which could be hours days months .Or choose to turn off the machine agreement to a DNR7 which I never heard ov until that day . They make him comfortable with drugs until he passes away .yes basically over dose him.
I truly Had no idea how I was going to move forward 34 years married I was. So use to having him next to me we were always together Then he was gone the house was silent no more snoring sounds. No more hearing him call my name no more. Sounds from the machine Just. Silence. To bring my grief to an ultimate high 3 years. Later on the same road Oct 17,2023 our daughter was killed by a hit an run driver .
My son and I are having such a hard time moving forward, I myself feel quilt on the rare days I’m not crying and doing something worth doing like taking the grand kids to the beach .
Have You noticed life itself does not prepare you for death .Especially the death if a child . People don’t understand how my heart is still broken how I feel empty and lost for I’m missing a huge piece of me of who i was .
Life doesn’t teach us how to keep going
Yet we find away to do it
I’m told to keep talking to people who understand it stay away from those who don’t for we feel thier negative and it pours on to us adding more grief .
We can’t give up on life right ?
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