I suddenly and without warning lost my wife 2 years 5 months 16 days ago , I actually found her face down in the Bath. Apart from flashbacks of that day I continually get jealous on seeing other happy couples as well of feeling‘guilty’ at any new activity I do without my wife knowing how much she’d have loved doing or going there, finally there are the constant reminders around the house most if not all that she was responsible for.
A common conception is to remind oneself of the good times you both had, but that only upsets me more🥲
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Hi Mick
Grief really does not go away - constant reminders all over our homes once shared with our beloveds, reminders when we go shopping or visit places.
They are still everywhere which is precious and painful at the same time. Another dilemma we face daily.
Even good old time can’t heal this one, just allows us to come to terms with the aloneness, lack of caring friends and daily reality of loss.
But we soldier on smiling as we go so no one really knows what it is like until it knocks in their door
All we can do is listen to each other, send hugs and best wishes and help each other when there is a really bad day or a newly bereaved arrives.
Great group full of brave, honest and caring folk
Thinking about you.
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Hello, I lost my dear beautiful wife 11 weeks ago, a combination of stroke and dementia, though she always knew me and although she suffered a lot in life she was a kind caring loving wife and mother to 2 daughters. The final few days were so upsetting, stopped eating and drinking, and at the end gasping for every breath so sad. I keep having flashbacks of her final minutes.
We did have some really good times together and she never complained about her ailments just got on with things . Then I cry
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HI, Ianmike, having flashbacks is a problem, but there is a so;lution. You need to rewire your brain to stop it hurting you. I achieved this by using hypnotherapy, and its been extremely successful. As a starter for ten, I found this document in the grief guide on this site. It explains it better than I could.
I feel the same as you.
All the reminders of your wife confirm that she will never return to you.
Cannot watch any tv programmes we used to watch together, too painful.
I feel jealous watching couples walking round together as well.
Life has become alien and scary.
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I agree so completely. I lost everyone … and this is so true. it is the people in our lives that make it meaningful.
meaningful and safe …