Hi having a bad morning having visions of the morning that James had a heart attack in front of me and seeing him lying in hospital i was the same when my dad passed away at home does anyone have days like that.
Christine x

HI christine yes i do have flashbacks Denise spent a large amount of time in hospitals, between 2008 to 2016 .I pass them or go near them the flashbacks come ,and i can remember the smell of the hospitals when this happens Colinx

Hi. Not sure that I have flashbacks but I can remember every little detail about my husband’s sudden heart attack. From me waking up to a strange sound, which I described at the time as a very loud snore, to the nurse switching everything off. I’m not sure how it makes me feel when I recall it all except to shout out loud “what the hell happened?” I still can’t believe it 16 months later. Love to you both xx

My husband,Arthur was having palliative care at home.In October last year he had been deteriorating all night and at 5.30 am he started gasping for breath in front of me.His eyes were open,staring,pleading for help and I tried to contact the district nurse.but no one was available.Then he closed his eyes and died.His face still haunts me on occasion and I live those moments again and again.

I’m so so sorry u all had to go through that …I have nightmares and vivid imaginations of what happened to Gary … he was found in the street a dog walker found him and tried to resuscitate him…but he died in the hospital after an hour of trying …he was 36 so I think they thought they could save him…we got the knock by the police … that was horrible…but to have it happen in front of u is devastating…I’m so so sorry u all had to go through that I truly am xxxxxx

Hi I know it’s so hard to get the image out of your head James was gasping for breath it was so sudden I was traumatised it’s only been 5 months it’s something I might never forget.
Take care
Christine x

Only three months for me … Oh really hope u can block it out I really don’t know how hard that must have been I can’t imagine xx

Hi it’s so hard for us all especially when it’s so sudden sending hugs to you all.
Christine x

Same thing happens to me . Every morning I get out of bed and go to the bathroom and that’s exactly what Mark did when he got up to go to work and had a cardiac arrest. I keep seeing him lying on the floor with me trying to turn him over . I had to use his leg because he was unconscious and too big for me to turn . And then he wasn’t breathing and I had to start CPR . All this goes through my mind over and over again and it’s his birthday today too . I feel like I am going crazy . There is no respite from the grief unless I am asleep . We are all being tortured because we loved them so much . X

It’s horrible isn’t it James started making a horrible sound then he started shaking he got up out of bed then went down on his knees i was crouched down too saying his name it was the look on his face which I keep seeing I felt so helpless it was James birthday last month I know it’s hard sending a big hug to you.
Christine x

Thank you Christine . It helps to know that somebody understands exactly what it’s like . Poor James and poor Mark . They went through such crap and now we are going crazy without them . Sending much love . Romy xxx

You are incredibly brave ladies they will both be so proud of you x

And your hubby would be incredibly proud of you too babes . Sending you a big hug Michelle and to your children too xxxxx

That’s exactly how it was when my wife died at home. It will be 9 weeks tomorrow and I can clearly remember her distress and my distress. Her breathing pattern had gone from being very rapid to very slow. After a long gap she then took another breath and then, after another long gap, another. I waited for the next and it didn’t come. It was more or less as I’d been led to expect but it still feels unreal. I think those final few minutes will be etched on my memory for ever.

We are all going through torture . It’s terrible all these flashbacks . But what can we do ? It’s early days for me too . 11 weeks . And it’s my husbands birthday today too . X

My heart goes out to you and children.
Christine x

Hi Christine
Yes these flashbacks will probably always be with us but hopefully as time goes on we shall accept the passing of our loved ones and know they are resting in peace and free of pain and suffering.Arthur died on 27th October last year so the anniversary is near and it is a difficult time.
With best wishes

Hi Christine
These flashbacks will probably be with us for a long while but as time goes by we shall accept the passing of our loved ones and know they are resting in peace and free of pain and suffering.Arthur died on 27th October last year so it is a difficult time.
With kind wishes

Hi Mary it will take time to accept their passing and adjust to our new lives sending big hugs.
Christine x

Good Morning Mary - I hadn’t seen your post till just now. I read it and immediately burst into floods of uncontrollable years because the re-telling of your events were as the same as mine - to the very last full stop. This was two years ago, just, when it happened to me and I still can’t come to terms with what happened on that night. I thought no-one could have experienced the trauma of that scene. Logically I know that is untrue. Your story made me realise I am not the only mortal soul to have lived through the same and somehow you’ve found the strength and a way to carry it with you so maybe I can too. Love to you.

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