For everyone who is hurting

Hi everyone

I just came across this and thought maybe everyone on here needs to read it and I hope it gives you some comfort because it made me think that sometimes it helps a tiny bit to hear once in a while Xx

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Thank you Nic.
We do make it through but the tidal waves never cease. I have been to Manchester today and saw all the Christmas Markets but my heart us not alive any more. But life goes on and we go with it. 3 yrs now for me and the sadness had taken a different path each year. Xx

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First Christmas without dad this year, it’s been 6mths since he passed, I don’t know how I’ve managed this long without him, I just want him back :broken_heart:
I just want Christmas to disappear this year if I’m being honest. I feel guilty if I don’t make some sort of effort to make it special with mum and my sister. Mum is heartbroken and says there isn’t a Christmas anymore for her, I just wish I could take her pain away. Her grief is a whole other level to mine as they would’ve been celebrating their 43rd wedding anniversary 9th December :sob:
This season we’re definitely not making progress, it feels like I’m going backwards. Thankyou for posting though as it’s a gentle reminder to keep going :purple_heart:

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I imagine that the sadness never goes away it’s a pain that is just unbearable and I think I am in shock or disbelief even because it just doesn’t seem real sometimes and I mean I’m the way that paul is not here anymore and I will never be able to speak to him again and it breaks my heart…
I went through my phone because I have a few videos of paul and I just listen to his voice it breaks me but I don’t want to forget what he sounds like….
I guess like you say it never goes it becomes different as time goes on.
I know what you mean by not really enjoying things and that it’s different now I am forcing myself to have to get through this month I’m sure like all of us but Christmas for all of us will never be the same again in fact life in general won’t.
Thank you for your message xx

I am the same I just want it all to be over and this year to be there over with… i remember saying the same thing last year like I can’t wait to see the back of this year as paul was battling pancreatic cancer and in my head I thought new year new start… how wrong was I.
It’s the worst pain and I totally understand what you are saying and your mum a first anniversary first Christmas for you to it’s all just to much.
I guess we just have to sit for the ride go with it and it will soon be over and think and deal with the rest day by day… it’s all we have.
I’m sure like most I cry everyday and like you are saying I feel it is getting harder it’s the missing that someone there is things I want to tell paul might be silly things but it kills me that I can’t… I can’t see how that pain ever eases people say it’s time but I don’t think it will ever ease
Take care and sending you a big hug :heart:

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I’m so sorry to hear about Paul. Sending you love and big hugs. I read on a post on this site that it’s the little things that hurt the most which nobody seems to talk about and forget about…like the texts, the morning conversations, the “give me the remote” kind of things…it’s those little things that should be spoken more about in grief as they’re the things that break our hearts, not being able to send a text or call them up to tell them something funny. And like you say, the silly little things you can’t tell Paul…they aren’t silly, those little things mean the most. There needs to be a part to grief sites/counselling that enable us to speak about all of that and help us in managing the loss of those little things. And definitely, therapists and counsellors and everybody need to stop saying time heals…grief never goes away, we never heal from it, we just grow and adapt around our grief, it forever lives on in us and no amount of time can “cure” it. The whole system needs rethinking.
I’ve cried loads today, and in that moment I think how can I go on…but it’s the process and I’ve spent time with my mum and saw my sister for a brief minute and all seemed “comforting” for a while. And coming on here, it does help so if ever you want to message me, my messages are open. We’re not alone in this, even though it may feel it 99% of the time. Lots of love :purple_heart:

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