Even tho’ my darling partner died eight months ago I sometimes forget that he’s not here. I turn my head and almost start to speak. Then the loneliness really does hit me. No words to describe it.
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Hi Bonnie, this has happened to me just a split second I have thought I’m going to ask my wife and then it hits you in the stomach you can’t. It makes me cry just writing this.
All the best
Tom
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Our loved ones are looking out for us from Heaven and still are accompanying us somehow.
May God bless and comfort all of you!
Kind regards - Joe
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@Bonnie3
I talk to my wife all the time and have done ever since I lost her in December 2024. I’m pretty sure she often answers in a variety of ways. For instance when I was worried about choosing the music for her funeral I woke next morning with a song buzzing around in my head that I really didn’t recognise. It wouldn’t go away until I Googled the chorus and it turned out to be a love song by her favourite artist. The same thing happened the next morning for a different song. Needless to say the songs were perfect for the occasion.
I recently read an article about a Stanford Neuroscientist who, after years of looking for the centre of consciousness in the human brain, now thinks it is received by the brain rather than generated there. If this is the case then our centres of consciousness haven’t moved they remain where they always have been and therefore conversation should be possible.
The reason I can’t have a normal conversation with my late wife is due to lack of skill on my part. I’m working on that!
Keep talking to your partner and watch for the signs.
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Bonnie,
it has been over year and sometimes I still can’t believe that either. I always tell him that his shoes are still waiting for him at the door and when I’m going home, I imagine that he’ll be there. I know that he wouldn’t, because we always went home together. People don’t need grieving people when they are happy…
Janka
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It happens to me too. Lately when I’ve been at work, suddenly the music he liked so much started ringing in my ears and didn’t go away… It was him telling me “I’m here, my love and I’ll always be…”
Janka
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That’s so sweet. I think it’s true, too.
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Hi Janka, I think you’re right about some people not wanting to spend time with those who are grieving. I find it difficult to be with happy couples. I envy them so much. My friend very kindly asked me to go with her and her husband for lunch. They were going to the coast to a restaurant they know. They don’t spend much time together as her husband works shifts and long hours. I felt I couldn’t go because of this. I just feel I can’t really socialise anymore, I’m constantly thinking of my partner who died eight months ago and I would have been so triggered by visiting a place we used to go to. Too many memories.
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I find myself increasingly talking to my Paula. And when my mind is clear and I feel calm I’m sure she is there with me.
I’m not sure I realised how much I relied on her until it was to late.
I’ll admit I am socially awkward and can find being around people exhausting.
So my conversations with Paula mean so much.
Sometimes those conversations happen out loud, quite often without my meaning to, and I forget where I am. You can get some very odd looks from people.
So when I said out loud ‘I love you’ in the middle of tesco’s the other day I could hear Paula laughing at me.
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I do that at the grocery store. We shopped every week and I still say a few words to him walking through the aisles. Sometimes in the car, I get mad at him for not being there. He knew how feisty I was so he’d be ok w/ that.
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I do that too! It’s not possible not to do it. I don’t care what people think about me anymore… It’s sad, but they don’t care anyway…
Janka
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Hi Janka, most people are just trying to enjoy themselves and having fun. I don’t think we are very attractive to them because we are not improving or becoming more cheerful quickly enough for them. They don’t understand just how life changing this is. I think that’s why finding people who have suffered as well, who understand is the best way forward.
I hope you find somebody who will make you happier by being a real friend.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Tom, you’re right! That’s how it is.
Janka
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I find I can spend long hours chatting to people much older than me but who have gone through widowhood or bereavement or a big loss. Others just don’t understand and think “well shouldn’t you be getting over it by now?”. I think I will get “over it” the day I get out of this earth to go to heaven!
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Hi Anita, one thing we have learnt the hard way is that it could be tomorrow, the next day or next week. Meanwhile I have to keep my wife happy and smiling down on me. Doing the best I can.
Wishing you all the peace you need and a lovely evening
Tom
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Exactly 
!
We do want our loved ones in Heaven to be proud of us and happy.
God’s blessings and guidance to each and everyone of you!
Kind regards - Joe
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So beautifully said, dear Anita! 
Janka
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This is exactly how it is, Tom.
Janka
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