Found he had a secret

lost my husband July of last year, and have just found out he kept a secret from me, i thought it was time to sort his coats out I still had hanging in the lobby and I felt something in one of his dog walking coats, it was tin of cigars and a lighter and also found a lighter in another coat, thing is he agreed back in 1993 to give up smoking so that he could afford to have air conditioning in his new car we were buying, at first when i found them i was a bit thrown but thought the crafty so and so having sneaky puff now and again walking the dog but since talking to my kids my daughter sawhim smoking on holiday once and son said he had left them round his once while doing the school run,
Now this has really upset me thinking he was smoking behind my back
And what hurts most is that he had pancreatic cancer which wasn’t because of him smoking but he had a blood clot in his leg which is what he died of now he told the doctors he didn’t smoke because he couldnt admit to it in front of me now if they had known they might have helped him sooner before it was to late
I miss him so much just want him here to tell him off and to ask how long had he been smoking or did he ever give up, question I will never get answered :cry:

Hi Linda, Firstly I don’t think him smoking would have made any difference to the outcome,my husband also died of pancreatic cancer and he never smoked, he also had a DVT, which was caused by the cancer, it must be hard for you to find out now that everybody else knew that he was still smoking, but he kept it from you, he probably realised how upset you would be, sending love xx

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Linda555,
I know two former smokers, who just used to have one cigarette once in a while. If your husband had been smoking to any extent you would have probably smelt it, on him and his clothes.

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Hi Linda
I think I know exactly how you are feeling. I also found that my husband had been keeping something from me. Not smoking or anything that would probably bother anyone else but it was something he hadn’t discussed with me. I felt like you. Hurt and deceived and wished that I could have been able to ask him about it. It might well have caused an argument and deep down I know that he was probably trying to prevent this from happening or he was thinking about me. But the not knowing can become a continual thought. So I told him off anyway and managed to now put it out of my mind.
xxx

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