Hi ive just joined here as i feel like i can speak freely about my feelings that i find difficult to speak about to my children but they are grieving too. My partner died 3 weeks ago from pneumonia with complications due to asthma. He died peacefully once life support was withdrawn. It happened so quickly we were in shock that this had happened to him and us. I have the funeral to attend monday and every day i get closer to it the more anxiety i get i mean physical anxiety i feel like my gut is being twisted and i feel really irritable so much that i screamed into my pillow to get it out. I dont know what i expect from posting this but it feels good to just get the thoughts down instead of swirling around in my mind thanks for reading this far…im sorry for everyone’s loss its truelly heart breaking and i feel you 
Feel free to rant or ramble, i am afraid we all understand what you are going through.
The funeral is hard, i spent most of it making sure everyone else was ok.
I don’t think we say goodbye at the funeral, everyone else does, but we still carry are loved one with us, i don’t think we ever say goodbye. Look after yourself eat,drink to keep hydrated and sleep. Trust me i know these are hard. If you have a support network use it. Please look after yourself and keep posting.
Zoe, Sorry for your loss, When my Darling wife left me, and we were doing the preparations for the funeral. my two Adult children persuaded me to write an eulogy for Elizabeth, when I tried it surprised me writing all the things that made Elizabeth special to me and the things I loved about her, yes I did cry, but it made me appreciate what a wonderful life we had together, not just what I had lost. I am sure that you will do your husband proud at the funeral, be kind to yourself that is important in these difficult times. Please come on here for a chat, a rant at the world or just a ramble. We all do and it make me feel better. Someone will probably get back to you with something that you may find helpful or at least that you will know that you are not on your own on this hard journey,
It is so early for you. I am one year on and still can’t believe R is gone. Sending big hugs. This site has been my saviour
Zoe, I echo what Nightwish, Rob and Mbg said. There really are no words of comfort, but I am so sorry for your loss. My situation was very similar to yours, in that my wife was taken in one Sunday due to a chest infection and died from pneumonia, a stroke and COPD a week later. She also had asthma, and when they started to reduce the oxygen from 100% she was gone in under two hours, even at 95% oxygen. Such a massive shock to us all, that we still can’t believe it happened, and that was 8 months ago. I screamed and shouted, and bawled my head off in the beginning. So I think I know exactly how you are feeling.
I found it helpful writing things down. I didn’t write or read the tribute in the church. My 4 children wrote it and my Sons in Law read it, with some of my grandchildren. I don’t remember much about the service, the burial or the reception afterwards. My brain was in a fog. I was too busy looking after the guests I think. I felt that others such as our children, were in greater distress than I was, at that time, with all four priests literally crying outside the church.
We got through! You will too. As the others say, keep talking here, look after yourself and accept help from others. Your children will be worried about you, and may not talk about it. I had to start conversations with my children, to let them know it was ok to talk about their mum, and that also helped them too.
I hope the funeral goes to plan. That’s all you can hope for just now.
With much love. Nigel. xxxx 
Hi Zoe
I had the same feeling recently when ny dad died.
I had a nervous, anxious tummy, loss of appetite, headaches, etc.
The anxious tummy lessened after the funeral.
Listen to your body! I was running at 100mph when I needed time to grieve.
Sending love xx