not feeling very brave
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Hi, You don’t need to be brave. You just have to be you. If you want to cry then cry. If you don’t then don’t. Don’t be worrying about other people there. This is your spouse/partner funeral and you are there to celebrate their life and saying goodbye to their passing. They always will be with you in memories and in your heart. That will never change. Sending you a big hug to help you through the day. Take care xx
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I know, it’s all very hard getting used to this new lonely world we’re in now. Just have to take it day by day, that’s what others say and it’s good advice. I can’t plan anything as I just can’t see too much in the future, it’s too painful without my darling husband.
You have the funeral tomorrow is that right? Just remember whatever you do, your husband will be so proud of you and how well you’re doing, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.
Take good care and I hope everything goes to plan. Talk to him and tell him you love him, that special connection you have won’t end
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Just remember that you will be surrounded by people who care. Try and take comfort from that, and from the love you and your husband had for each other. Cry when you need to. You don’t have to be strong. Thinking of you and sending you kind and caring thoughts.
I hope everything goes well for you. I had my Mark’s memorial on 19th January this year and I was dreading it. But it was very moving, both sad and uplifting and I really felt so pleased with what I had organised to honour him. I managed to read most of the eulogy I wrote and my totally lovely celebrant read the last bit, which was about why I loved Mark. It was difficult looking at the photos on a big screen, but I knew them all as I’d made the slideshow myself, so I knew which would be the hardest to look at. I chose three pieces of music, Bruce Springsteen’s Terry’s Song, ELO’s Mr Blue Sky, and Andrew Gold’s Thank You for Being a Friend. I tried not to have anything too sad though Terry’s Song breaks my heart. Don’t worry about crying - most people cried at Mark’s memorial, which was supposed to be an uplifting Celebration of Life. It was difficult to celebrate in some ways, when we all just wanted him with us, but I wanted everyone to know just how loved he was. I hope it gives you some comfort to be able to say goodbye surrounded by people who loved your partner. Big hug.
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Good luck tomorrow @Struglinrusty. I was always the unemotional and even keeled one in our relationship but, when I buried my wife last year, I bawled my eyes out throughout the service. Everyone was really supportive and kind.
After the service I actually felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I hadn’t realised how desperate I had been for the day to go well - I wanted to do her proud, if that makes sense?
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Sorry for your loss. You don’t have to be brave, just be yourself.
How are you ?
Thinking about it as was reminded going to my late husband’s friend’s funeral on Friday.
It is always triggering. But glad I went because I had to dig out my black clothes and get into smart clothes and try to support others.
Yes it was so so sad but being there is important to do it if it really matters to honour all the times that they supported me when they were still here after I was alone.
I wanted to make their time here valuable. And that it is still so
His widow has another partner as the marriage did not last but she was there to support his children.
Was amazing to see photos of when he was young in his prime.
Just like I wanted people to see my late husband in his prime.
I have this need to keep him as part of our history.
So today have to charge up my car and cope with things that are left. Resist people who try to force me. But try to listen and consider what was said instead. I listened to my friend in middle of night. I feel connected then.