Today was my Partners funeral.
The anxiety I felt this morning was horrendous.
I
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It took every bit of strength just to get showered.
It was a day I never wanted to happen and I’m still in shock at the sudden death of my gorgeous partner.
When the car arrived at the house I thought I was going to collapse.
The only way I could get through was to remember that today was all about Steve and his life.
I sobbed all through the funeral service, especially when I knew the service was coming to an end.
Meeting people after the service was so hard. People queuing to give their condolences.
The Wake was lovely and people sharing their memories.
I’m now home and still can’t believe I have said goodbye to the love of my life.
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@AlysonandSteve
Sending you my best wishes.
I know how hard it is but you had the strength to get through it.
You will find a lot of support on here.
Stay strong.
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Thank you @Keith1957
I feel totally broken but have to keep going for my mum.
It would break her heart if anything should happen to me.
I was exactly the same and found no comfort after the funeral for a while. Although I know we did him proud, it should never have happened. 2 months on it feels like it happened to someone else. It’s so surreal to be going through this. If it wasn’t for the fact I have proof it happened, I would say it was all a bad dream.
Today, all the big house jobs have been completed, all the paperwork has been sorted and finished. I have changed my hours at work and I can now relax a bit and focus just on my loss for the first time.
3 months from his death and I am ok. Never thought I would be and had no idea how to get through. I worry that I’m doing too well and I’m going to be knocked off my feet at some point but if it happens, I will deal with it, like I have every day since he died.
I think the funeral helped me. I was told it would and I was disappointed when it didn’t initially but now, I think the finality of the funeral has helped me take steps forward.
I can’t bring him back and if it was me that died, he would be devastated but he would be getting on too. He now can’t live his life and I feel I owe it to him to live mine and not waste it, taking one day at a time .
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I found comfort in the funeral but I was having to stay strong for the rest of the family.
It’s been nearly a year now but its still hard when I am alone in the house.
I was due to retire next month and we had plans.
I am now getting made redundant so am losing my work family as well.
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@Ali29 Thank you xx
It is such a horrendous feeling, isn’t it.
Yes, I think my partner would be strong if it had of been me that passed.
I certainly wouldn’t want him to feel the way I do right now.
I wish I knew if Steve’s spirit was with me.
If I knew I was now Steve’s eyes I would show him all the wonders of the world.
I’m so pleased you have managed all your paperwork.
I hope you continue to find strength each day.
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@AlysonandSteve , my husbands funeral was Wednesday and like you it was something i was dreading. We woke up to glorious sunshine and my daughter helped me to choose some clothes. We had a colourful funeral as Pete loved colour. The service was beautiful and personal. I chose a poem about love not death. We walked in to the theme of Magnificent Seven, as he loved that film. For reflection we chose Mr Blue Sky by ELO as he always said he wanted this one. We walked out to Rod Stewart- You’re in my heart. He loved Rod Stewart especially when we met in the 70s. So many people there, friends from the past, work colleagues, our lovely family and extended family. Somehow i made it through all the hugs and condolences because it was so genuine. Since then I’ve been numb, almost like an out of body experience. I will come crashing down im sure, but grief is a journey and at the moment im being carried along.
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