18 months on, I have just given up, I go to work then come home to be alone, havnt got the heart or energy , to do any more. I eat, sit watch T.V. go to bed, then do the same next day , what is the point in doing anything else, I exist, not live. Sometimes wish I had the strength to just end all of this.
Take care all
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Hi Pete,
I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There are lots of other support options out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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https://www.samaritans.org/ are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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https://giveusashout.org/ are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline Where to get urgent help for mental health - NHS
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If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support, Pete, so please do get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Michelle
It is so tough. I think all our days seem to follow the same pattern. I too have to bare the lonely life at home. The house is very empty.
I have started a part time job. Only a few hours a week to get me out of these four walls.
People don’t understand that the loneliness you feel isn’t due to lack of company, it’s the loneliness of losing your souls mate.
I have no idea what the future will bring. I don’t look that far ahead if I’m honest. It’s to painful, just as bad to look back. Bit of a no mans land existence if I’m honest.
You are not alone, keep posting
Dee xx
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Thank you, I am okay, seeing granddaughter, tomorrow, first time in a couple of months, something to look forward to. Off to bed now, things don’t seem so bad, when you are asleep, although sleep isn’t always that easy. I must learn to stop having this self pity. Need to pull myself together.
Take care all
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Saw Granddaughter today, she said, you know in your other house, you and Nannie, lived together, why don’t you now. Why did Nannie have to go and live in the sky on her own, I wiped away a tear. Any answer anyone.
Take care all x
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Oh bless. The young say it how they see it. 
Glad I posted, still feeling alone, apart from yourself and one other, had no replies, so like I thought, no one is really that interested, born alone die alone, its my battle, I will fight it alone, nobody really cares , why should they, we all have are own wars to fight, bring on the battle.
Take care all.
None of it makes any sense to any of us, the feeling of being alone even if with others it’s all part of grief, it takes no prisoners, it seems like we’re all walking the same road and it helps me to read that others are facing the same and that I’m not silently going mad, we’re with you xx
Keep posting.
We are here for you. Sometimes posts do get missed. But I would hate you to give up.
Our days are very much the same. Unfortunately I think anyone has any answers.
It’s just a crazy awful journey.
Message anytime
Take care
Dee xx
Does it help, to think other people, are , hurting, feeling alone, I don’t now, I would not wish this feeling, on anyone, I hate Friday night, I hate weekends , can’t wait till Monday morning, back to work, back to company, back to not feeling ALONE.
Just one of those people, nobody is bothered about , found that one person that cared, sadly, she had to go, so I live alone, in a world, where I walk alone,thank you, for showing some interest,
@PeteE59
When we are grieving it’s difficult to think others are in the same pain everyday like us, but knowing there is other people on this forum who are in the same daily pain and understand how we feel eases the despair I feel evereyday. I’m so grateful for this forum as there are so many people who offer support and understand us better then our family and friends.
Amy xx
Thank you,
We can’t change anything here but we do understand the pain.
I have a big family and plenty of support but the reality is they don’t know what it feels like …… and thank god they don’t.
That’s why this site is so good. Nobody needs to pretend, everyone understands and you can say what you like and not be judged…
It sounds awful but to be honest I am even jealous of the fact my sisters are fortunate enough to go home to their partners.
My parents are still with us, in their nineties and although I will feel sad when their time comes, at least it will be in the right order of things.
I also hope that they leave this earth together because knowing the pain they will be going through if left behind fills me with dread for them.
Dee xx
Hi Dee
I understand you getting upset your sisters go home to their partners and it’s a normal feeling.
My son’s all have girlfriends and they stay round their girls some nights which makes me wish that was me and my Marti, as we used to stay round each other’s houses, it does give me nice memories of me and my Marti when we were courting, then the sadness of him not being here. It’s nice to think we were loved and they loved us though isn’t it. But, I wished we went together as it’s a devastating existence now.
Amy xx
I have a granddaughter who is my life, and a son from a previous relationship, who has come out as transgender, he is about to start HRT . It all gets too much at times, I am now on medication for a heart condition, but at least I know my Shell is at peace.
Thank you for caring.
Not only is it is devastating it’s also exhausting as we try desperately to function and keep busy …… anything to block out the loneliness and the big void left by our soul mates.
Doesn’t matter what we do though it catches up with us in the end.
I want to go to sleep and not wake up
Dee xx
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@PeteE59
I’m so sorry you have a heart condition, it makes you feel more lonely doesn’t it without your Shell. I’m glad you have your granddaughter and stepson for support and although things get too much at times please talk to us and we will listen to you, we dont judge, we are here for you.
Amy xx
Life can be very complicated at times.
You need to start looking after yourself now, never easy I know and sometimes it’s like what’s the point but I’m hoping the tide will turn enough for us all to cope better.
Xxx
I have tablets, I don’t take them, why should I, nobody will really miss me, I am not that lucky, I feel like I will live this life of un happiness for ever.