Going back to work

Coping with bereavement
1

I noticed several of our members lately talking about going back to work after a bereavement. For example, Louise51 had this to say:

Unfortunately, how much time you can have off work is very dependent on your employer, and some people can find it emotionally challenging. But others, like Louise do find that it can also help to take your mind off things.

Have you returned to work, or are you planning to? Are you dreading it, or hoping it will bring some normality back into your life?

Read our information about taking time off work for bereavement: http://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/can-i-get-time-work-bereavement

2

Hi Louise, I lost my brother in April this year, I had a month off work. I must admit that being at work, keeping busy really helped. It helped that my department, I work in the D& T department in a secondary school, we’re very understanding. I couldn’t wish for better friends & colleagues. I have broke up now for the 6 weeks break, so have got more time to think about things. It’s still early days for us, I do think that keeping busy does help also I find talking about my brother helps. Everyone is different. Take care of yourself. If you ever need to talk I am here.xx

3

I may be faced with the grim and grisly prospect of applying for Job seekers after my sick note runs out on 5th August. Half of me is looking forward to the challenge as it will be a way to fulfill my time but in the same voice its a daunting scary prospect as previous to my wife passing away(1st May 2016) i was her main carer for 9 years and ive been off the work circuit all that time so you can understand my anxiety about it all. But its no good being at home much longer really. Just hoping ill get a nice kind understanding job coach and not some one who is uncaring like a lot of people have encountered in the DWP.

4

It is so nice to hear how understanding your colleagues are being - I’m sure that has made a big difference. I hope your summer holidays are going ok so far.

5

That does sound very daunting - nine years is a long time. You mentioned in your other post that you might be doing some volunteering - that might be a good way to prepare yourself and start to get back into the habit of some of the skills you’ll need. Good luck.

1 Like
6

Hi Priscilla, thank you very much to replying to my post. Yes iam very lucky to have such a understanding work place. I am keeping myself very busy & taking one day at a time. Thanks again Kind regards Carol x

7

Thank you Priscilla yes its a very long time and daunting. Yes im going to be with a volunteer group next Wednesday hopefully ill like that want to do some more with them. Could also maybe open other doors so to speak

8

Hi I can understand you being anxious about starting work again. After nine years caring for your wife. I wish you all the best with your volunteer work, I think it will be a good to keep yourself busy. It is very early days for you since your wife passed away. I just take one day at a time. Take care & look after yourself.x

1 Like
9

Thank you :slight_smile: Yes it is too soon i cant face all that just yet all the hustle and bustle of it all they expect a certain amount and if you dont achieve that amount per week you risk being sanctioned and that’s pretty scary. Ive been trying to get a GP appointment but the holding queue is full this morning so the chances of getting an appointment today are nil. Thank you for the kind words and you take care also x

10

Yes I think it would be wise to see your GP ASAP. Explain to the doctor how you are feeling. I do think it is to soon, to cope with all the hassle of job seekers appointments. Don’t worry about a doctor’s note they will back date them. Keep in touch and let me know how you get on. Thinking of you. Take care.x

1 Like
11

I managed to get through to my GP surgery and explained to the receptionist.She said that as the sick note expires on Friday to ring then and they would get the doctor to make continual sick note out which would be ready for collection next Tuesday.So thats something to be relieved about eh. Im a bit nervous about the phone call from the IAPT this afternoon but ill be open to them and see if there is any help they can give me. Yes i will let you know how it all goes and thank you for your kindness. Take care for now x

12

So glad you have sorted that out with your GP, it’s one less thing for you to worry about. You will know when your ready to look for work. As I said in my previous message it’s still early days. Your griefing if your anything like me it’s getting harder not easier. It’s been 3 months since I lost my brother. You take care & keep in touch.x

1 Like
13

Yes it does seem to be getting harder. At first i suppose i was busy with all the funeral stuff and the paperwork etc but now i seem to have found myself at a loss cos ive too much time on my hands. Its going to be a long haul but if can get more support on board then id be happier.
Thank you and you take care too and ill keep updating on here as best i can x