@Deb5 Well I have just tried to go through some of Jens pyjamas, to clear space for my daughter. I coped for 20 seconds or there about. That’s a big fat no then, I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. My girls just put them all back as quick as they could bless them.
Oh i know its awful innit ? You feel like youre packing them away ive not even attempted moving my hubbys stuff yet … too soon snd too raw … just best to leave until youre ready
My partner passed away almost four weeks ago. His toothbrush and razor are still on the bathroom sink and his coffee cup is still by the kettle. His coat still hangs on the back of the chair at the dining table. I can’t put anything away just yet It’s bloody hard
Hi Jacney, Jane was a messy buggar leaving clean clothes piled up and not putting away. I thought about clearing some clothes out but couldnt do it so instead i put her clothes away and had a tidy-up.
I so wish i hadnt as it felt i had cleared away the mess that reminded me of her, even writing this is bringing a tear to my eye.
Lostlil im 8 weeks since jane passed her shampoo is still on the side in the bathroom, her dressing gown on the back of the door and her coats and trainers still waiting to be worn on the coat rack. Apart from a little tidy up of her clean clothes everything remains in place should the miracle happen and she walks back in the door
Same here … …
Although i do I know hes not gonna come bsck but i still tslk to him and love him and in
my minds eye i can still see him …
It is so hard, and I am so sorry for your loss. My husband passes away about 4 weeks ago, well it was a month from yesterday. I really hope you are getting support from your family and friends x
My mam died when I was 21, my grandparents died when I was a child, my father has never been around and I’ve only got one sibling who would bring more trouble than support. His family have been brilliant and friends have been good but they all have their own lives and families. I don’t really want anyone else, I just want him
I don’t feel like I can get through this tbh. Today is a real struggle, I feel like life isn’t worth living anymore and I don’t know what on earth could change to make me feel any differently.
How are you doing four weeks in? It’s so bloody hard isn’t it
Lostlil im feeling the same loss and despair, its supposed to get easier according to everyone i talk to but im really struggling with the thought of my life without Jane. She was and still is my whole world, i just want to be with her again everyday seems to be more of a struggle than the last. Evenings and nights are the worst when all id love more than anything is to fall asleep holding Jane’s hand
It’s horrendous. I just don’t want to be here anymore and I don’t know what to do. I see you’re eight weeks in and still not feeling any better I can’t do another four weeks of this let alone a lifetime of it
@LostLil I’m so sorry for your loss. I do know how you feel, it’s the most awful thing we’ll ever go through in our lives but you have to take each day at a time. Tomorrow could be a relatively good day and if it isn’t cry until you can’t cry anymore. Are you getting out, if not go for walks while the weather’s nice, join a club or become a volunteer with people in the same predicament, that way you’ll find friends and people you can talk to who actually understand. I googled and found an age concern site that offers weekly calls and a helpline. Try them it might really help. I’m 6 weeks a widow now so I’m right there with you. Please just message me if you start getting so low you feel you can’t go on and No matter how trivial you may think it is, I’m happy to talk, in fact I need to talk too, so maybe we could help each other. Also there’s so many lovely people on here, you don’t have to feel like you’re going through this on your own. All the very best and remember baby steps, one day at a time. Good luck x
I did go for a walk a few days ago but I’ve only got out of bed for a bath and to brush my teeth today. I haven’t had a cup of coffee yet so I will drag myself up soon. I’m just really struggling to find any reason to do anything now. It’s the hardest thing I’ve been through in my life. I’m sorry you are in the same situation How are you doing? I see you’re from South Wales, where in South Wales are you from? x
Lostlil we are all on the same unfortunate journey and although the reasons we are here are the same, the way we deal with the grief are all different, today ive had a day where i dont want to talk with nobody or see nobody, the only reason ive been out today is to take the dog for his walks. I seem to suffer at my worst at weekends and bank holidays when everybody is doing things together yet the person i want to do things with is no longer here
It does get better love. Honestly … but its just not brilliant … takes many months i suspect ? I lost my husband 4 months ago and still get upset but some of the pain is subsiding !!! So there is hope ! Hang in there xxx god bless… xx
Yeh im same xxx
@Amanda111, I don’t believe it’s stupid, I think it will help you grieve and let it all out and hopefully come back a bit headachy but a little better now you’ve let it out. I feel your heartbreak I lost my wife 6 weeks ago and I’m going through it, but a little less than I was 2 weeks ago. The pain is still raw, but I can go a couple of hours without wanting to cry. Doesn’t seem long but compared with 2 weeks ago is amazing. I’m not saying everyday is the same, some days are worse than others but I can talk to my family members other than my girls now and there was no way I could do that last week. The pain of losing the love of our lives will never go, but it will ease and allow us to live again, well that’s what I’ve been told by others who have gone through the same process. We will eventually smile again when we think of them and not cry, I’m looking forward to that time, because I don’t want sadness to be my only feeling when I think of my beautiful jenny. We had too many good times together, I want those memories to make me smile I hope you will just let your grief out but also try and get in touch with someone if possible, a phone call could be just what you need to give you the strength to get through your short break. Also we’re all here for you now too. And you’ll be home soon back to your routine. I wish you all the very best, good luck x
@LostLil, port Talbot. Yes you have to make yourself do things, I’m agrophobic and have been for several years, not just in the house, but my bedroom. It has become my safe place and now it’s hard to leave. My fight of the day is getting to my lounge and spending longer and longer until I’m only going back at bedtime. It started after becoming bed bound with degeneration of the discs in my neck and back. Jenny was my angel, she took care of everything, even though she suffered herself from arthritis. Without her my haven has become a lonely place, so wish me luck and let me know how you get on.
Oh I’m so sorry
I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you. Do you get any visitors? I know I’m fortunate that I’m still young and mobile and other people have it so much worse than me. It must be so hard for you
@Narna That’s just how I felt, I don’t want to change anything, maybe one day, but not now.