I managed to sleep last night, first full 6 hours in 4 months xx I am sitting here in our orangery having a cup of tea, in the chair where my Dave last sat xx I do this every morning having a chat with him looking at his picture , then I noticed something that reminded me of the quirky personality he had and it made me smile 
Usually the tears would be rolling down my face by now but this morning a smile . I am positive that the tears will come how can they not , but I’m happy to go with this smile for now x
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Now that is so good because it means you are able to smile again, which is the beginning of acceptance. Hang on to that smile, it’s very precious.
Having a chat with your Dave is good too. They are still in our hearts and always will be. Take care. John.
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Mrs T how I like to see posts like yours and thank you for telling us about how you feel. These moments are really precious to us especially in the early days when we think we will never smile again. I remember the first time I laughed again, it was such a weird sound. Oh yes those tears will come but the smiles will also appear and slowly they will take over the tears. You go ahead and remember the quirky personality of your husband he obviously has done you the world of good.
Hang onto that smile, at least for today.
Pat
xx
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Thank you all for your support xx there are so many lovely people on here , and I know I can post about my feelings without judgement xx That smile is still here but the tears have made an appearance too 
. Why do we feel so guilty for smiling and laughing ? My Dave was the best thing that ever happened to me, he was the ying to my yang , take care all xx
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Smiles are good!
I’m beginning to smile a little more when I chat to my dad, it has only been 4 months yesterday since he went & there are days I still feel lost…
But the memories are coming back to my mind, which is lovely.
Take care x
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The old saying comes to mind. ‘Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone’. So true. But we don’t need anyone when we laugh, but we do when we cry, but help is not always available. John.
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Hi there
How I agree smiles are good!!! and that ‘Laugh and the world laughs with you’. I have explained on the forum previously. When my husband died I walked about with my head down, I didn’t want to speak or acknowledge anyone, then I was asked why I was doing this.(someone who didn’t know about my loss) So I decided to lift up my head and smile at someone everyday and being a dog walker I met up with plenty of people to practise on.
Now nearly two years later I find that there are so many people that stop to chat, and even introduce themselves and some go for a walk with me. In the supermarket and town I am waved to. So smiling at people even if you have to force it through the tears at first is well worth the effort.
Bless
Pat
xx
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