Good evening, sat in the garden with daughter and sister talking about June. A few tears, some smiles, and an actual laugh! I’m not over her, still hurting a lot, but feel good to be with people who are ok to talk about her. My daughter mentioned one thing June did (with me) before we were married and said that “mum said things to provoke a reaction”, my sister agreed and said June wouldn’t have done that.inside I was smiling as I know that’s what she/we did. some things only I know about
D
Ha, love that! Our families didn’t know everything, nobody knew them, and things about them , like we did!! Just keep up the wry smiles, You’re right, it’s so good to talk about them. it’s what we need to do and so much the better if you find yourself having a quick laugh. We’ve just been out to eat, daughter in law’s birthday, and although we missed Malcolm so much we managed to make it a reasonably happy occasion given the circumstances. We were able to think of a few funny things that had happened in the restaurant, like when I stole one of his garlic mushrooms from his plate and everyone but Malcolm noticed and was laughing, even the waiter! How we miss them, but this is a learning curve and the only way is up so we might as well get on with it. Take care and good nightx
There was a devil in my June, maybe she kept it hiddenjust for me, but I felt so good when they both said “no way”, and when my sister said “she would never do that”, and I didn’t reply… her face. A good night tonight. Time to write her a little note in my journal.
Night all, take care
She’ll be laughing at that!! x
Hello Pat, his are you doing? Just wanted to say thank you for being so positive and supportive. And you are rightI am feeling a little bit more at peace today and have. spent all today gardening. Have started wanting to make it nice for Malcolm, which has sort of crept up on me! Sending love xx
You know, you’re right. angel that she is, she has a wicked sense of humour. Thank you for that
We have to hang on to those thoughts Dave, to keep sane. A smile at some particular memory of them can be a lifesaver x
Well done you. Gardening is very therapeutic at the best of times and if you can do it to please your husband just as I do Brian’s allotment and our garden, then it is an added bonus. One of those tiny steps has been accomplished.
Hope Dave is keeping up with us and we can encourage him into his garden, and not just to sit but to work and please June. Don’t treat the garden as a necessary evil but something to take pride in.
Now been proven that gardening is good for our mental health and we need all the help we can get.
Pat xxx
We sure do, Pat! How are you today? Must admit I felt quite pleased with myself when I went our today and noticed how much better it looked. Had cleared , weeded and edged, it certainly makes a difference. A bit late in the day but am going to pot up some red geraniums that have been languishing where I left them just before Malcolm died, they seem to have just. burst into flower.! So come on Dave , let’s have a garden-off, June would be proud! xx
I’m fine, just a bit bored with the hot humid weather and not being able to do much, was hoping for that rain you promised to send down South.!!!
You have got it so right… This is what gardening does for you. It give a sense of accomplishment. Recently watched a programme on TV and apparently it’s the pleasure of watching something grow that can trigger that feel good feeling. Bless those little geraniums, trying so hard to survive. They deserve your loving care.
Come on Dave join the club.
Pat xxx
Sorry to be such a failure with the rain, must try harder. Yes, those poor little geraniums, against all the odds! Just shows what you can survive when you have to xxxx
Ok, you guys win, but I have cheated a bit 
, I’ve got myself a gradener. he’ll just do an hour or so every 2 weeks to keep it tidy and so I don’t loose it. i do like a garden, but not knowing anything about it, I’m just watering the plants and cutting the grass - and yes, i do get a lot of satisfaction from that. i know it’s not what you mean, but it’sa start, so can I join? Even as an honourary member?
2 pics of her side garden, and one of the main garden, hope you like
D
2 Likes
So pleased, we wanted you to join in! Think the gardener’s acceptable😂 I’ve had someone come and look at some trees, think we’re allowed a bit of extra expertise under the circumstances.! Think you’ll probably find enjoyment and satisfaction creeps up on you when you’ve done something positive in the garden, It certainly has for me and I feel close to
Malcolm thinking how he’d like what I’ve done. Keep doing it for June and talk to her out there. My rose I ordered has just arrived, a white Yorkshire rose for my Yorkshire lad, and I’ve named it Love You Forever. Perhaps you could plant one for June.? Love the pictures of your and June’s garden, it looks really lovely. Keep at it!! xx
Hi Dave
What a smashing garden you have. You simply must keep this wonderful garden up to scratch its so full of life and it’s easy to see the dedication that has gone into it and the love still in it. Love all the shrubs, and statues. A bit like my garden except I don’t have grass. I really couldn’t be bothered with my garden in the first year but now the shrubs are happy to have me back pruning them. Get your gardener to show you if your not sure otherwise watch him.
It certainly is a start and there are plenty of gardening magazines to read. Welcome to our club, take it steady, you will get there and find your garden a great help.
Patxx
Hi Dave, read about the robin story, amazing how it gives us comfort. Mine is feathers, haven’t had a feather in quite some time, but I don’t look for them they must find me. Hope you start to fine some peace. It is a long lonely road. Take care?
Thank you all, I wil take care of the garden. June is a member of the RHS so I’ve arranged for that to be transferred to me. We live near one of their gardens and she loved to go for a walk there. I’ll go there when I’m ready.
Still no sign of the Robin, but there’s been other clues this week that she’s around, it’s a comfort.
Felt quite down tonight but coming on here and reading your kind comments - well, they make a difference, so, from the pair of us, thankyou and all have a pleasent evening
A good move Dave, June will be happy. We just want them to be proud of us. Sorry you were feeling down. weekends aren’t the best. Hope tomorrow feels a bit more bearable x
Lovely to catch up on here, I am in Liverpool and we have had some great weather although it is drizzling this morning. I have a yard with a corner full of pots of plants, lots of geraniums, a rose, a passionflower, few succulents, dwarf buddleia, poppy. Plus three pink plastic flamingoes (as per my tacky and kitsch taste). June’s garden is magnificent Dave and the gardener sounds to me like a good idea. IF you wanted to take the idea of a pet seriously, maybe you could foster a dog or cat to see how it fitted in. Sounds like most people won’t return to previous holiday destinations, in my mind I think I will return to the little Spanish village we loved. We have three good friends there so maybe next year? I too have random awful and slightly less awful days, but it will only be 12 weeks tonight. Take care all.
Dave what a beautiful garden. It’s good that you have a gardener. My mum in law has one although she does a lot herself. I have a haphazard bunch of pots which are coming on great. I’m kinda winging it garden wise but it’s nice to sit and look at the work you’ve done. My Robin hasn’t been back. Probably due to the cat next door. My friend’s are taking me to Cornwall next month which was my last holiday with Frankie next year. I think it will do me good to get away. Hopefully some good weather fingers crossed.
Thankyou all. had a difficult night, her funeral was omne month ago, and tomorrow is 2 months since she passed. I’ve kept very busy today mainly to avoid things about things. I do feel better for doing something during the day rather than sitting there, brooding and feeling sorry for myself. The weather makes it easier for me to keep occupied, the heatwave makes me very lethargic which isn’t good.
Also, went for a walk along the seafront this evening (arond 5-7ish). Felt good. Not too many people, just as well as several times my eyes moistened.
Take care all