GP Referral

Over the past week or so it has become clear to me that I’m in a worse place now than I was a year ago having lost my partner in September 2022.

I think the first year I was numb, and I’m aware that emotionally I am a ‘slow burner’ - so hitting all the second year anniversaries, the first being this coming Christmas seem to be a bigger deal.

A few friends and relatives have suggested that I go and chat with the GP, but I’m a bit (OK, a lot!) uncertain - where to start, what can they do to change anything, will they even be bothered.

Does anyone else have experience of going to the GP and can advise me, or confirm that it helped. And how to start that conversation - I wouldn’t fancy having to discuss my feelings over the phone with the receptionist in order to get an appointment.

Thanks for any thoughts and advice.

Hello @Wisteria
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re still suffering like this. I can only say that I have had a very positive experience with my GP and with the staff at the surgery. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 11 weeks ago and right from the start they have been very kind. When I realised how badly I was faring and decided to speak to a GP, the minute I explained about my sudden bereavement they organised a face to face appt without question and I continue to see the same GP face to face at regular intervals. My GP has been very supportive and very understanding. I still work although haven’t been there since this happened, and she says we’re taking it a month at a time which takes the pressure off me. I was very reluctant to start on any medication, but I was having panic attacks because I couldn’t breathe properly at times, so she suggested a mild dose of Sertraline. I would rather not be on it but it has alleviated that problem. It’s not a strong enough dose that it’s masking my grief, because that wouldn’t be the answer, you have to go through the grief process, it just feels like my anxiety is less which makes practical things to do with the house a little easier. I hope in the new year to be able to cope without them but for this month especially I will stick with it. Although this might not work for everyone, I would encourage you to at least try an appt with the GP and just take it from there. They can also refer you to other services such as Community link workers who can be helpful as well.
I think maybe you have nothing to lose in trying. Thinking of you x

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Thank you @Mist2
It has been only 6 months since i lost my husband.
However i am not coping well. I think the first few months i have been kept busy now settling into routine and finding out i’m not going out to meet people and i am starting to isolate myself.
I have asked for some councelling which has a waiting list but hope it will be in the new year.
My doctor gave me sleeping tablets to help sleep in the first month but ive not gone back since.
I also have the pressure of my poor mum who has dementia and looking for care home as needs long term care now after a fall outside and is in hospital.
Guess i just need to learn to relax sleep but currently finding this a problem
Another weekend nearly over thank goodness
Lynne x

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Hi @Galaxy75 . I’m also on a waiting list for counselling. Services like that seem to be struggling to get back to normal since COVID. Like you I hate weekends, we used to have a lovely time even if we weren’t doing much. Sleeping is a real problem, I seem to have lost any kind of normal sleeping pattern, have tried the exercises and all sorts of suggestions, and I’m not going to use sleeping tablets. It’s a blue do . @Wisteria had been wondering about speaking to a GP and I hope my experience is helpful to them or anyone wondering whether to try it or not.

Thanks for your reply.
We are all coping in our own ways
We miss the presence of our loved ones and someone to share our life with.
I always knew one of us would leave the world first just dif not expect it so soon
Now learning to adapt to new one.
Take care

So much harder than we could ever have imagined. I hope you have a better sleep and a better day tomorrow. X

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Hope you get good sleep too.
Lynne x

I have a face to face with my Gp this week to try to get back to sleeping. My local library are doing 4 grief counselling drop in session’s (as none in the area ) every other Friday and some craft ideas as well. Might be worth others checking out if any advertised in their local libraries.

Thanks @Punto I’ll check it out. I live in a small town and there isn’t anything like a bereavement support group so this online community is the best thing I’ve found.

Hi @Mist2
I am in Scotland and on waiting list for Cruise Bereavement i was told it would e 4-6 weeks waiting list for telephone pon line counselling maybe you could try them.
Hope you manage a good nights sleep
Lynne x

Hi @Galaxy75
Same as you, in Scotland too and on waiting list, although they didn’t give me a time scale, just said it would be a while especially at this time of year. Thank you and sleep well xx