Grateful for my single friends

I am only 8 weeks into this journey. For a few days last week I went through a period of respite where I thought ‘am I mostly better now?’ Of course not. It has all come flooding back but at least I can hope for more periods like that where I feel I am coping. I have a number of single friends, most of these have been divorced or separated, one is a long term spinster, and a couple have been widowed. I am finding myself being drawn to them because they get how I am feeling better than others. They understand the loneliness and have strategies to cope with it. They don’t use the terrible ‘we’ word all the time and they also have more time for me.

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Judy, how right you on all your thoughts from, yes I will have good days to friends who understand. Keep going, things will improve but yes it comes back to bite you. Be kind to yourself and think positive. You sound young and there’s lots of life ahead of you so please try to enjoy it. Sending you blessings. S xxx

I am not young. I am 67 and Glen was only 63. My children are all grown up and live a long way away. I have a step son who is also a long way away and not really keeping in touch and I have a 92 year old mother in law who I now have sole responsibility for as her grandson is not keeping in touch with her either. That’s why my friends are so important but I do find I am having to make the effort to contact them and to sign up for organised things with my WI. I couldn’t imagine ever having another partner as at my age it is possible I would have to go through all this again in the not too distant future and it is too unbearably painful.

Hi Judynews,

I identify with a lot with your situation. My partner died just over 3 months ago. He wasn’t sick for long and the seriousness of his condition wasn’t picked up till very late. I’m waiting for the outcome of an inquest as one hospital has raised concerns about the other. I feel fortunate that many of my friends are single - for various reasons - and this has made connecting with them much easier than if they had partners. I don’t feel as dramatically grief stricken as in the first few weeks but now just have an underlying sadness that is my constant companion.

Take care, Julie.

Good morning to you both, I am afraid anyone younger then me is young :face_with_hand_over_mouth: but like you I don’t think about having another man in my life, just to much to contemplate. Our sons don’t live near and sometimes I feel totally alone but always say it’s better than them living around the corner and interfering in my life, you can’t have it all.
I am so sorry Julie that you have to wait for the authorities to sort things out and it will impact on your emotions. It’s good that you have friends because it’s very difficult having to make that first move.
I hope you both keep posting, we are all here to help each other. S xx