Grave side

Hi. Just visited my husband’s grave. This is the first time I’ve done it on my own. I was scared and anxious as I approached the cemetery. Once I got to the graveside I started chatting to him and cried buckets. I had a go at him for leaving me , but also gave him the latest gossip. He was a great gossiper himself. I told him all my news and asked for advice. I didn’t get much of a response but I felt comforted. I also spoke to him about football he’s fulham, I’m arsenal. I’m thinking about a headstone. Does anyone have any advice regarding this?

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My partner died suddenly and unexpectedly before Christmas 2020 during Covid lockdown, we lived some distance apart so I wasn’t with her, I could have saved her if I had, I was told in a phone call by her son in law

Up to the funeral I had little contact with her family regarding the funeral arrangements , two phone calls in fact, all a little confusing, only thirty allowed at the Crematorium, had to beg them to relay the service to my friends and family who knew her here at home

It was a simply awful service, I submitted some notes on the fun times and places we’d been and what she meant to me in our nine years together and was horrified and shocked when the Pastor read it all out in full, her family gave virtually nothing for the 74 years of her family life, it was so sad

At the graveside it was all tears and hugs and plans to meet up when Covid permitted, but I haven’t heard anything from any of them since that day to this day, only a text to say the house was sold and all my stuff and memories had been dumped

They obviously thought I was in it for the money but I knew that I would get or expect nothing, likewise with mine, we’d shared the details of our wills

They we’re also very vague on cause of death and I only got closure on that earlier this year when I requested a copy of the death certificate

Anyway, my daughter and I went down eight months after her death close to her birthday, we didn’t want to run the chance of bumping in to her family on her birthday, just to put some flowers on her grave, and the state of it was simply disgusting, plastic flowers and obvious no one had been near for months, we just both sobbed and haven’t been back since and probably won’t ever again

That’s so sad. At least I have fantastic support and friends. I guess I’m lucky that way. I went on my own today as family live far. I miss him terribly. And I wish he was here with me. I have his fulham scarf here in the front room and I have his fulham calendar above our bed. We didn’t have children so are reliant on our siblings and friends. I sound very selfish as I am going on about myself. Sorry about that.

Hi little legs. I’m sorry for your loss. As if the pain of losing your partner wasn’t bad enough you’ve had to cope with all the other things you write about. Yours isn’t the first story like this that I have read in the last year that I’ve been with this group since my partner passed away. I fail to understand why people are like this. When you say that they disposed of your things without giving you the opportunity to have them back is appaling my experience couldn’t have been more different. Her family embraced me from the very beginning and are still supporting me. Again I’m sorry for your loss and the added pain caused by others. Best wishes.