Grief and childhood adversity

Has anyone lost a parent or parents you didn’t have a positive relationship with?
Are you sad, angry at the same time?

Sadly yes, I didn’t have a good relationship with my dad whatsoever. I lost my mum Jan 17 and my dad Feb 17, I loved my mum with all my heart and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. However, where my dad’s concerned I don’t feel I can grieve, I have so many mixed emotions and feel there’s conversations that we should of had , but won’t ever be able to now, this adds to my anger.