Its just over 3 months since i lost my partner to cancer. He was a lovley man and i feel sadness and hurt at the fact that he barely had 2 years after retiring before he got ill and spent time we loved together unable to do the things we loved to do and now im on my own and feel lonely and sad without him and i see other couples and i think thats it, no more will i have that, He was my partner and also my best friend. Im so sad without him and i feel like ive lost a part of myself.
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I am so sorry @CaroleMJ it is so very sad you have lost your partners and so unfair you were not given time to enjoy retirement together. I lost my darling husband in January just as we were planning our ‘bucket list’ of the things we wanted to do together this year as he was planning to cut back on his work. It does feel like part of you is missing, and of course it is. For me I have lost my sense of self and confidence, but as someone else posted, I am trying to put on my big girl pants every day to try and make him proud. I have returned to work which helps as a bit of a distraction and I am starting to accept invitations from friends and family even though I just want to stay at home. I recently read this quote ’ take some time today to be thankful for how far you’ve come. You may not be exactly where you want to be , but at least you are trying your best, and that in itself is more than enough’. I think that’s all we can do, just put one foot in front of the other and hopefully with time, understanding and patience we will eventually find some peace. With love and hugs xx
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Hi Sandi, Thankyou for a response. Im just having a bad day and i get these days and you will know this, which in turn then makes me feel unwell and tired and unable to cope. Tomorrow could be a better day! This i have to cling on to. I think yesterday got me upset as i went to the coastal resort near here, well i say near, its an hour and half in sons car, where me and my partner had a happy break and i looked at where we had our room and thought well we wont be looking from that balcony ever again, together, ever, and i wont ever look from a balcony with anyone i love and care for and looks after me so well as he did. He was such a good man and my best friend too. Its these moments that knock me for a 6 and then i get down. I feel as if part of ME has gone too. Im sorry too that you lost your hubby and planning things, it just doesnt seem fair does it! For me a lot of my friends seem to have let me fall by the wayside and cant see how lonely i am. Yes i have some family and some friends, but of course they get on with their lives and im not good at making new friends at all. But on i shall plod, Somehow, THankyou for your kindness and caring. x
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@CaroleMJ
I am so sorry . Life is so unfair. I understand totally what you say about your partner not being able to have enjoyed retirement. My husband was 67 when he passed last October. He did retire when he was 58 but did gardens and decorating for people so he kept busy. I only finished work in 2021 and feel resentful as the Covid restrictions were in place that year so we were unable to do much. We did manage to get a holiday last year but he had started to get ill then.
All of our dreams and plans have just gone in an instant and like you say , it is hard to see couples of a similar age group doing the things that you had planned for the two of you. I don’t feel envious or resent couples but feel sad.
It is good to post on here as people understand and are going through the same situation. The lonely feelings are so hard. No one to talk to. I have so many things I want to tell my husband, things that have happened since he has been gone. I do say them out loud to him bit it’s not the same.
Time helps you to adjust but the bad days are never far away. I am feeling slightly better than I did at first and when I read back the posts I wrote in the early days I notice the difference in myself.
Sending love xx
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Hi Alir
THankyou for a reply and i have to say it is good to talk to otherswho know exactly how it feels as many dont until they experience it. As my partner was quite ill his last 6 months it was so so hard to see him deteriate like he did and life bit by bit taken from him. We had so much to do in our retirement and now those things i cant do on my own. I dont want to do them with anyone else either, he was my buddy, my safety. i feel adrift without him.I tell my partner also about my days as i have our picture up in the hall, pre cancer, but i end up getting upset then as hes not here and i want to cuddle him. THankyou for sharing our losses. The sun is supposed to shine tomorrow, lets hope it makes us feel a bit better!
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THankyou sandi. Hope so!
Thank you, sending one back to you xx
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@CaroleMJ
Hi CaroleMJ, I know what you mean, watching your loved one getting worse over the days is the hardest thing in the world.
Our security and the future we thought we had has gone but at least we have known true love, I comfort myself by thinking this.
Like you said, the sun is going to shine tomorrow, it will be a better day.
Sending love xx
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