grief and negativity and low self-esteem

I noticed, going through grief again, fresh visits from negativity and hopelessness, which brings about low self-esteem. these were very prevalent after I lost my parents. now, that I am again in grief over a dear friend, I find I am dealing again with very negative thoughts, hopelessness about the future, and all that leads to a lowered self-esteem. this is the first time a peer of mine, a friend, has died. I wonder if anyone might have insight into that. I am also grappling with a difficult personal situation. thank you!

Hi I too lost a friend 7 years ago and regretted everytime I put off calling her, she had an alcohol problem, because I couldn’t be sure if she would be sober. One thing I have learned since further and closer losses is guilt can make grief so much worse on our own mental health but the other friends in our group have become closer and we can talk over anything, no judgement, which has been brilliant. Do you have other friends that you can talk to and share things about ? Hopefully you can find something that helps