I lost my mother on June 20th. It was so sudden, she hadn’t had any complaints prior. That morning she rung my sister, who was staying over at mine for the weekend saying she had chest pains and had called the ambulance to take her in. We live about half an hour away so go to the a&e to find her just sitting in the waiting room looking sorry for herself but otherwise talking etc. they’d given her morphine for the pain but she ended up waiting there for about 4 hours waiting for a chest x-ray. We popped home because she said she was feeling better and to wait for her call. We never got it… instead get a call from hospital asking us to return asap. She died as they had laid her for the x-ray. Turns out she had an aortic dissection , so her chest had been filling with fluid as she waited. Seeing her on that bed still feels like a horrible dream. The next month was spent having to rush around in-between work to empty her home as it was council owned. Coupled with me thinking I was going to made redundant (thankfully I wasn’t) and my 40th birthday without her, I’m only now feeling the grief. It’s coming in waves, I will just break down over nothing. Now Christmas coming soon I’m dreading it. How do people cope? Especially trying to carry on with work?
Hi @Seedy,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Alex
First Im so sorry for your loss . Theres unfortunately no rules on how to cope and with going back to work. It feels surreal at first but then Ive found ive ended up back in somewhat a routine there. I lost my dad in 23rd of June 2 days after my birthday, i feel the heavyness most mornings before going into work and later, sometimes i find myself forgetting reality of the loss. Have you been back to work or retur ing? How do you usually spend Christmas?
All I can say is that the waves at times feel like tsunamis but if you can accept that they will come, it might help?
We are all so different and our grief is, but I understand about the waves and send xx
Thanks for your reply. I returned a week after her passing, we only get 3 days leave for bereavement but thankfully I had a few days spare holiday to use.
Some days are better than others but Christmas will definitely be tough. She would always spend Christmas with us and I’d pick her up from hers to spend the week.