I think grief is like an illness that seems to eat away at you it lowers your ability to do the simplest of tasks. I wake in morning aching. my heart is going like a train and I feel drained with it all. Does anyone else feel this way. Just wish it would end one way or another.
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I understand, I was saying to a friend last night that Yes my husband has lost his life but for me itâs like Iâve been destined to carry a heavy bag on my bag for the rest of my life with also a black cross across my forehead like a disease saying âwidowâ.
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Misprint,you have put into words exactly how I feel,Itâs hard to believe we were once happy getting on with our lives with our loved ones
Donât know how to get through the loss of my husband,I have no motivation to do anything,I feel Iâm a completely different person,I used to like going on long walks,now no energy,not eating properly lost so much weight,canât cook now Steve isnât here,whatâs the use on your own
Take care
Christine x
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Flower garden Bless you I hate that W word. I still call myself Mrs and always will to me Iâm still married
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Misprint,
I have said the same thing about my loving wife, I still consider myself married and I still wear my ring too. I hate the word widow and widower too because it just reminds me of my loss, which I donât need to be reminded of. Take care, John
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Will always be married and will never use the âWâ word. But can understand the weight is impossible and I feel the âpunishmentâ of loosing my husband is also impossible to continue with most days.
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I too have trouble saying the W word it is the hardest thing to speak expecially when asked what is your status so I just say âI prefer not to sayâ
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Hi - that is such a good idea to say that. The first time I was asked my status it floored me. I just hate the word. This never ending journey is bad enough without being labelled, itâs feels as though we are less of a person.
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My status is still married, my husband may be gone but I am still his wife, and always will be. I understand what you mean it is like a punishment or an iron chain around your ankle dragging you backwards, I donât understand what we are being punished for, loving someone?
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I canât understand why people should ask your status on forms etc.
especially if it has nothing in common with why you are being asked.
It is like in a newspaper where they always seem to state someoneâs age as though it matters to the reader or has any purpose to the article.
I just state not relevant unless it is!
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Lilyboost,
I feel like the punishment is for loving too much, we were too happy and now we are too sad. I hate it and will never understand why the pain has to be so terrible. I just want it to end.
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I know John, itâs the price we pay for such great love, but what did we do to have to pay this price, I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers and there is nothing to look forwards to but sadness and loneliness 
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Lilyboost,
I completely understand and I donât have the answer, I said if I breathe I will grieve. It isnât anything that will go away. I watched a TV series that had a line in it something like âwhat is grief if not love perseveringâ We LOVE we grieve, the more we LOVE(D) the harder the grief at least for me it is. Take care, John
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I too wish the pain woukd go away it is the most horrible feeling ever one minute i am up and feel like all is well then the next minute I feel like rubbish and and the pain returns and hurts even more I just want to lock myself away curl up in bed pull the covers over my head keep the curtains closed and donât want to speak to anyone I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep even that is difficult at times.
I was feeling so good for a couple of days last week then Sunday I just crashed the pain was so bad I went for a long bus ride and walked along the canal yes it made me feel a little better for a while.
I keep asking how long will this pain go on for will the pain ever become easy to bear.
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I too wake with that awful painful aching as the realisation hits me yet again that my husband has gone and I am alone. I make myself go out, see people, carry on with life but itâs as though itâs just my shell walking and talking and the real me is curled up in a corner crying inconsolably. He only went on 10th November so I donât know how I will feel as time goes on but right now itâs so very painful.
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I have had another restless night,this morning feeling the sick pounding In my heart,really donât want to face another sad day without my husband this pain of grief is to much to bear
Christine
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Christine sending you virtual hugđš
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Meseaber,
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my loving wife on March 13 and I know everyone grieves in their own way and time but everyday is still hard and with the Holidays each is worse. I come here to express my pain and it helps in itâs own way but the pain is terrible. Take care, John
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I felt that way and still do but I read an article where it said that grief is an expression of love for the person who has died. It will never leave us but in time it will soften and become a bearable part of us. Love starts off as passionate and intense just as grief is but through time love softens and becomes the every day sustaining love of a relationship that sees us through our day to day lives. So grief will develop and soften becoming a reminder of the love we still have for that person. Yes from time to time it will creep up on us and hit us hard but mostly it will just be a part of us. To me that made a lot of sense and was strangely comforting. It turned my grief from a bad thing to being my way of showing my love and something I didnât want to âget overâ. My grief will always be a part of me just as my love for my husband will always be a part of me and in a funny way I will find it a comfort.
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I agree, I am married, my husband may be dead but that doesnât mean I am not still married and I find it offensive if anyone thinks differently.
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