Having a proper grief day today, consumed by it all. Really missing Dad and just want him back home. I just feel that life can’t be life without him in it. Just feeling really trapped and stuck and I just wanna get off the world so to speak (like step off it for a moment and sit in a tranquil, waterfall, secluded with greenery type area, with the birds chirping) why do we have to go through this torture I love you and miss you Dad xxx
Steffi I hear you. Lost my Mam on 14 March. The pain is unreal. The sense of loss is unreal. I’m having bad days and then slightly better days so far. I feel in my heart she is still with me. Like me I’m sure you’ll never forget. In time the pain will ease I know. The sense of loss will never go away but I’m sure in time we will both cope with it.
@Ryan82 sorry your mum’s no longer with you. I hope you’ve got lots of support around you.
I believe they’re with us and we’ll grieve for the rest of our lives, it’s just learning to adapt to this new way of life and live alongside our grief. Grief is a reminder of all of our love for our lost loved one, all the love we have and with no place to go.
Having another difficult day today, more bad days than good. Hope your day is going alright
For me: The funeral is on Tuesday. I’ve had to pretty much arrange it all as my Dad just isn’t wired that way and neither is my brother. My Auntie has been great moral support. I struggled today to find a suit. And had to compromise with this sh!t M&s one. Then I remembered how Mam dressed when I graduated. She was so proud of me even though she had no money she mustve saved for weeks and weeks to wear decent clothes. I’ve ordered a different suit now and fingers crossed it will arrive in store tomorrow.
For both of us: we’ve suffered an enormous loss. I believe on hearing news our hearts and brains decouple so we can process the loss. Eventually they come back together. That’s why we have bad days. It’s our hearts and brains working together to help us understand what our loss really means. It’s not easy but it will get easier in time I know. X
I hope Tuesday goes as well as funerals go and that your Mum’s send off will be full of love and light. I’m sure the suit you have is just fine but if you’re not entirely happy then I hope the new one arrives in time for you. Tuesday will be one of the hardest days for you but just take it minute by minute and remember your Mum and the love she had for you all x
It’s just over 9mths since Dad passed and it’s getting harder the closer it’s getting to that 1year period, I’m dreading it, I’m having more bad days in the lead up to it. I’ll never stop talking about Dad, I’ll never stop thinking about him, I’ll never stop grieving for him, I don’t want to stop. Some people think there’s an expiry date to grief and that we’ll “get over it” but we won’t, it’s here to stay with us. Time doesn’t heal - that stigma needs to be banished–time shows us how to wear our grief. I never ever want to get over it and until a person’s been through what we have, they never fully understand. It’s societies way of making us believe certain things and act/behave a certain way.
Just make sure you have great support around you and know that it’s okay to react however you want/need to react. Don’t feel pressured into being or feeling a certain way. Sending you lots of love to you and your Dad for Tuesday x
Thanks so much Steffi. I have no doubt the loss will be forever with us. My Mam and Auntie lost their mother 10 years ago and I know they missed her - especially when times came for a celebration or crucially when they wanted her advice and support.
We know as mere mortals life can’t go on forever but I genuinely believe love does.
Love lives on for sure and that’s what grief is, our love with no place to go anymore because they’ve gone
I understand what you mean steffi. My mum passed away this week and the shock of it has just left me unable to function. I too just want to escape the reality of it but find that impossible. I dread waking up in the morning. The finality of mum’s passing is killing me and I still have to somehow get through the next month before we can have the funeral. I hope things get easier for us both. I believe they will.
So sorry to hear of your loss Martyn. It is such an enormous shock. I just couldn’t properly accept it the first day I heard the news. Even when I returned home, the house was literally full of her - right down to how it smelt. It was like surreal - I kept expecting her to walk down the stairs. I do believe it gets easier with time.
And @steffi you are right. I’ve seen first hand evidence time does not heal. That stigma does need to be banned. Yes we’ll learn to live, carry on, do things, love and laugh again but the loss will never go away. We will just get better at managing the loss.
@MartynH sorry of your mum’s passing. I hope the funeral goes as well as they can do