its been over a year since my best friend sadly took his life and i honestly cant see me feeling any better mentally for the rest of my life, its crushed me i miss him so much we was childhood friend, grown up together, everything. hes left so much behind, girlfriend, his child. i dont have any i just feel so lonely and i dont wanna burden my other friend with my problem, they all have fa of their own they have their own problem. hes gone not knowing how loved he was. but i feel for the rest of my life now ill never be the same person again. its such a shit feeling. sorry for the language 
also ive been dealing with addiction/grief for many years now, curious as to whether counselling or going to meetings actually helps/works, im very locked up in feelings and expressing myself so I struggle to see how it would benefit me. any advice appreciated
Hello @Staaaan,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your friend that brings you here.
Many people do find counselling and support groups helpful - you won’t know until you try whether it’s for you. It’s brave that you’re open to exploring these things. I know that many of our members who’ve lost someone to suicide have found these organisations helpful.
- Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offer support to people over 18 who have been affected by suicide. They have a supportline on 0300 111 5065 and run support groups nationally.
- Support after Suicide has a list of local and national support.
You might also want to explore our Online Bereavement Support, where you find our Grief Guide self-help platform, and where to find our Grief Kind Spaces.
Please do think about talking to someone about your addictions. Grief is painful but you don’t have to do it alone.
- The NHS website has a guide on getting help with drug addiction.
- Turning Point also offers support, including Peer Mentoring, to people who are having drug or alcohol misuse problems.
The Samaritans are also always there for you, day or night, on 116 123.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Yesterday was my mum anniversary when I went to sleep I dreamt about her I didn’t want to wake up from the dream because I knew i would be back to reality
Thankyou for your advice I’ll take it into consideration, life’s just very hard it seems