Grief

Hi All, how do you all cope with the loss of a partner? My partner died 13 weeks ago and I miss him so much. I can’t stop crying and nothing is right. I can just about cope if I keep myself busy but I can’t be doing 24 hours a day. I just want him back so badly it hurts. Even to know that he’s not suffering anymore and is happy. I just feel there is no point to life without him. I just exist for nothing. Is this normal.

Hello

I don’t think any of us have that answer. I empathise completely I lost my husband on 7 May so have been without him for only a little longer than you have been on your own. I am like you I have to keep busy - not 24 hours a day - but I do sleep as I am exhausted by the time I go to bed. I make a list everyday and work my way through that. Some days are worse than others - today being one of them as I have not been busy. Like you all I could think today was how much I miss him and is it going to be like this forever. I hurts so much doesn’t it.
I have made some lovely friends on here and talk to them and draw comfort from them and from the responses that I get from everyone on this site - these are the things that seem to help most.
I have lovely friends and two amazing adult children - but they do not understand exactly what it feels like to lose half of you - and of course the future without that support and love, But people on here do and it does help so much to ‘talk’ .

Take care and keep talking to us.

Trisha xx

Hi Trisha

Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. Your right it hurts like hell. It doesn’t help as we were both on our own for 19 years and then found each other. We were only together for just under 3 years but it might as well have been 30 the loss is still the same. We live on a boat and decided that life was too short and that you don’t know what’s around the corner so decided to travel. How right we were.
It’s good to hear that you have lovely friends and family that can help you but as you say it’s difficult for them to understand the loss you feel of your soul mate. I too have some good friends and family but they can’t replace that kind of support and are miles away from me.
I am now trying to work as need finances to sort out my partners will. I just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with it but have no choice. Am trying to engage a solicitor but it’s just so expensive. All I want to do is cuddle up to my other half he made me feel safe and loved. Felt like could conquer anything with him at my side.

Sorry for the long chatter but your right it feels good to talk about it. Only people that have been through this can understand.

Thank you for replying and listening and I hope you keep well

Dear Denzil68

I hope this forum helps you as it has helped me. I had nine weeks off before going back to work for two half days a week. Have now been doing two full days a week and from next week am slowly adding a bit more at a time until I am back to 4 days a week. At first I did not think I could do it -but so far it is working and I am busy at work and have to concentrate on what I am doing - so do not think constantly about how much I am missing him. Of course there are times I want to cry but it is on the journey home in the car when I give in to it.

It is a rollercoaster though and today was a bad day - I don’t know what triggered it but there does not always seem to be a reason. I have cried a lot today but am much calmer tonight and hopefully tomorrow will be a peaceful one.

It sounds like you had a wonderful three years. Cherish them - they were obvously very special.

Take care and keep coming back to talk.

Trisha xxx

Hi Trisha

Thank you they were special. Just wish it had of been longer.

I am sorry to hear that today was a really bad day for you. I too have done nothing but cry. I think it’s because I just started working again and then been on my own all of today with no one to talk to or see.

I hope you do have a peaceful day today and you feel a little better
Take care and thank you for listening,

D

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