Grieving for my husband

Hi
I lost my husband 9 months ago. He died of cancer of unknown primary and was just 58 years old. I have two sons that live with me. I feel lost without him. He did everthing. Drove d.i.y. and worked also. I feel at age 54 what am i supposed to be like now.?

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My husband died suddenly of a heart attack in September last year so nearly 9 months for me. I’ll be 62 at the end of June, my husband was 67 when he died. It’s definitely a new and different life. I started a new job end of March - needed to due to circumstances. I think you just have to take things slowly,not rush into anything and find your feet. Unfortunately no magic wands for feeling better. It’s devastating to lose our partners, it’s not easy, but have to find the best way forward for you x (hugs) Sandra x

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Hi Julieheather67, so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you. I’m the same age as you, my husband was only 57 when a sudden heart attack took him away from me. I also have my son and daughter living with me, they give me a reason to go on. I’m surviving, not living, I just keep asking “Why, Why?”. We were supposed to grow old together, I just cannot accept he won’t be coming back to us, I talk to him all the time, for me my husband is still here, I just can’t see him, I don’t feel like a whole person, we were one mind one heart, one soul , “two hearts that beat as one”, like that song Endless Love says. did everything together. Who am I now? Spent 26 years together, became a mature person with him, became a wife, a mother, with him, that’s why I chose this user name, I am so lost without my beloved. I come here to pour my heart out because we can’t even talk about this at home, too painful, we just put on a brave face but I feel guilty that I’m not being great comfort for my kids, but how can I, if I’m literally falling to pieces myself? I have really bad days like I’m having now, when I feel I just can’t cope.
I’m grateful for this site, where others understand what we’re all going through and sharing our feelings does help you get through your day, alleviating this agony.
Like Murphy1 says, this is a completely different life that we are unexpectedly, against our will, having to get used to.
All the best to you, take care.

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Hi Solost and Murphy1

Thank you for your kind words. It’s encouraging to know that I’m not alone.

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