Grieving my mum

On 24th February I lost my mum. She became ill in the October literally overnight, and wasn’t properly diagnosed until the February and 2 weeks later she was dead. She was 67 and before October she was feisty, fit and full of life. When she received her diagnosis they said she could have about 2 years and none of us were expecting her to die.
I know it sounds like a cliche but my mum was my best friend. We loved the same things and did so much together. I’ve been coping well I think but Christmas was our ‘thing’. We loved the build up to Christmas and everything about Christmas and I’ve been struggling. It’s nearly 10 months down the line and I still can’t believe she’s gone. My step dad still lives in their house and I’ve only been round a couple of times because it just reiterates to me that she’s gone.
It was me that found her that morning, me who had to check for her pulse and drag her lifeless body onto the floor so the paramedics could try to resuscitate her. I went to see her at the funeral home so I don’t know why I’m still so full of disbelief. I’ve tried to be so strong for everyone that I think I’m scared to fall apart and to top it all off my dad told me last night that he is being checked for prostate cancer. Not sure What I expect people to say thing I just needed to get it all of my chest

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Hello @Maisy08 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling scared to fall apart and to show your grief and that you are almost still in disbelief. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and your dad’s current health concerns. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Alex

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Hi Maisy08

I’m so sorry for your loss.Reading your story and reading what you’ve been through this year breaks my heart because it sounds like you have been to hell and back and now having to deal with Christmas.
You have so much on your shoulders just trying to make sure everyone else is ok.
I know how hard the first Christmas without your mum can be.
This is my third Christmas without my mum it’s still really hard and I miss my mum everyday and i wonder about what we’d be doing for Christmas now and what life would look like if she was still here.
It does get easier as time goes on, i never thought I’d be saying that because it doesn’t feel like it will.Sending you big hugs.Try to be kind to yourself and try to do something nice for yourself,that makes you feel happy and try to remember all the special times you had with your mum if you can.

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