I just wondered how people have coped with the guilt that you are alive and they are not. How you are ultimately have to carry on with life. I feel so much guilt conflicting me at the moment that i have to work and carry on, deep down i know he would want me to carry on but i cannot shake the guilt.
Hi Pippa, firstly welcome to this site, hopefully you will find it helpful, I think everybody feels guilty at some point after a bereavement, it’s part of the grieving process, I certainly went through it after my husband died, I also felt relief and anger and then I felt awful because I felt that way, I did realise that life does go on and my husband would have been annoyed if I didn’t try and live my life as would my family, it takes time but be kind to yourself and things will get easier, xx
Thank you Jude, your words of comfort are appreciated xx
Hi. Pippa. As Jude so rightly says, we all have felt guilt at some time after loss. ‘Could we have been more kind’? ‘Could we have done better’? It’s normal to feel this way because none of us are Saints, and even they had problems! It’s past, but if the need for forgiveness is strong then forgive yourself and then ask your loved one to forgive you. They do listen. Your partner would surely not want you to feel guilt. It’s an emotion that can lead to despair, and that in itself is bad enough. None of us, however we would want to, can change the past. It will pass. Try and be kind to yourself as well as others. We all suffer in our own way and from external looks we may seem OK while screaming inside.
Blessings and take care. John.
Thank you Jonathan for your kind words, i feel guilty that i have to carry on and try to live my life when he can’t. I feel guilty that i have to work even though i dont want to. I feel guilty for existing xx
It’s ok Pippa to feel as you do. It grief, and what happens when we grieve can be pretty awful. You being alive and your loved one gone can be a real source of guilt. We can carry on, we can you know. At first is will seem so difficult and hard, but that dim light does get just a little lighter, slowly and imperceptibly, but it does. You may not feel in the position yet to take any of this in, You are in shock and it takes a lot of patience to weather the storm. In a storm the captain turns his ship into the wind and rides it out. It’s what we have do until the storm passes. We can never ever forget, of course we can’t, but the love you had will carry you through this. Bless you and take care. John.