I would like to wish everyone on here a ‘Happy’ New Year but I feel that this is not to be for us all. After losing my Husband of 54 years back in June to start a new year just is not right. I want the old year back. I don’t want to say he died I last year it just seems to take him farther away from me. Losing Peter is the worst thing that has happened to me and I will never get over it. After six months nothing has changed I still cry every day, I think about him constantly and I just want our old life back. I don’t know what else to do. Hive tried so hard to get back some normality into my life but unfortunately it is not happening. Love and hugs to everyone on here going through this terrible heartbreak. Moira xx
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Hello Moira,
You have said everything that I also feel, the constant thoughts, wanting your old life back and not knowing what to do when you have tried every thing. For me it was counselling, aromatherapy, reflexology, walking group volunteering and the list goes on but the one person who you want to go home to and tell what you did or who you saw isn’t there to tell… For me having to pretend I’m ok when inside I feel as though I’m walking beside myself literally is very wearing and I avoid certain people who I know will give me some of their wisdom on how I should be coping!!! Usually still married. I lost my husband, also a lovely Pete from 2 different cancers and we had been together for nearly 50 years so like you it was a long partnership.
My thoughts are with you and everyone who finds this journey hard.
Love Jenny x
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Moira and Jenny
I understand everything you have both said,going into a new year without Steve is heartbreaking,miss him so much,
We were married 52 years this month I feel lost,vulnerable and frightened of the future
So hard on our own
Wishing you peace
Christine x
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Dear Christine,
Sadly I think it’s the price we pay for loving and being loved for so long…
Let’s all hope for a better Year and thank you for getting in touch.
Love Jenny x
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Moral, Jenny and Christine, I am with you lovely ladies all the way, its so hard with out our lovely loving husbands, after 6mths on this awful path I still cry daily, miss him tremendously, having him around to chat about things, I do talk to him, to his photos, it’s his funny sense of humour replys that I miss, I understand about moving into a new year and feeling you are leaving him behind, I’m doing my best not to think that way, I won’t be saying he died last year, I will use how many mths it’s been, today is no different to yesterday, the longing for him is the same, no matter how many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years pass, that will not change, please ladies, be kind to yourselves, try to look at our situation from a different perspective, it’s hard enough as it is, so treat yourselves gently, we have all been though the worst year we will ever have, so this year can only be better, nothing can ever be as bad as loosing our husbands/wives/partners and the pain we have to suffer way into our future without them. These are very strange times with covid, so here’s to a better new year to us all, bless you,
Hugs Chrissy3
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Dear Chrissy,
I’m so pleased that I have found this site and had the courage to join in the conversations as although it’s heart breaking to read peoples stories it is sadly comforting to know that others feel as you do. Thank you for replying.
Love Jenny x
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Your welcome Jenny to the reply, I was like you at first, reading but not postings, it does take some courage to post at first, especially when your emotions are all over the place, its strange how it does help, other people suffering so much, seems to put it into prospective, there’s always someone somewhere suffering as much or even more. Take care.
Hugs Chrissy3
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Chrissy
You have described exactly my thoughts and how I feel. My husband did not leave ‘last year’ he left me 28 weeks ago. We must be here for each other. Moira
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Thank you for the lovely post,
Yes it’s so hard to startva new year as get further away from our loved ones thst died,it’s being 23mths for me that awful day when my husband of 50 was taking suddenly from a heart attack,now life without him sucks and we used to all together now just me still figuring out what am I now what am I hoping to do.
Last year I used alcohol to cope with the pain so new yearv resolution is to give thst up as only made me worse can’t keep doing that and going down that path as my beloved husband if seen me now be discussed at me for doing so.
Hoping this year can get my shit together .
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Not 23mths it is 13mths
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It’s true it’s only figures and I’m going to say five months rather than last year, I think about time now so differently, my life changed over eight long weeks of worry sickness and hope but also eight short weeks of being together sharing feeling scared, now time is immaterial without my husband, just going through the motions thinking of everyone xx
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Well said Moria, keep putting one step in front of the other, baby steps, one day at a time, yes, we do need to help each other, when I first joined this forum, I did nothing but read, then, amazingly got brave enough to post, beacuse I want to give back where ever I can the help I have had, even one small word that might give comfort or reassurance to someone is all it might take to help them.
Hugs Chrissy3
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I am so pleased that you have seen the path you were on was not right for you, keep your beloved husbands thought tight close to you, it will give you the courage to keep off that path, well done to you, its not easy to be strong, this forum, all the lovely people here, will help you.
Hugs Chrissy3
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Thank you chrissy,yes was wrong path ,so just need to get stronger ,I will.
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May we all find our inner strength to carry on with a life to be lived fully for the ones that have died and that life was taking to soon .
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Chrissy3
You are right,it was really upsetting thinking I would have to say he passed last year,I’m still going to talk weeks,14 weeks now
Life has changed so drastically for us all,I’m certainly not the person I was when Steve was here
Glad we can share our feelings on here
Take care
Christine x
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I so agree with you ladies. I lost my husband of 45 years to Covid on 4 Jan last year. I thought I was dealing with it but today with the start of a new year I am really struggling.
There doesn’t seem anything to look forward to and where some people are full of hopes and dreams I feel like I have nothing
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Yes it’s hard ,as we have loss our one special person in our life’s that no one knew us the way they did or understand us plus the many more loses u loose to,the hugs the everything that u shared.like loosing half of me when Mark died .
Not the same person that’s gor sure how could we be .trying to get use to my new normal of life without my beloved by my side ,have to find me as first time ever to be on own…
Will do some courses this year to help me,read all I can get out in nature more etc anything that will try help.
At least people here get it as how else could you unless happened to you.
Never new pain like it before, pain of loosing husband is a diff pain to anything else I have gone through.
Dear Badger
It is a lonely road we all travel in on. I have a loving son and daughter-in-law who over the past 28 weeks have been wonderful but at the end of the day the love of my life and best friend has gone and I still cannot think ahead. I cannot see a happy future at all. I feel that 2022 holds nothing good for me. At the beginning of what should be a brand new start this morning, sadness was so overwhelming it was untrue. What can we do to overcome this awful emptiness?
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Don’t know how we do as what can only fill the emptiness is gone
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