‘Happy’ a’New Year

It certainly is a lonely road,my adult son and daughter have been great but it’s my husband I desperately need,how do we carry on without our loved ones
I keep thinking what we would be doing each day what we had planned for our future,he’s in my thoughts every minute never known pain and heartache
Sending loving thoughts to everyone on here that are going through this torture

Christine x

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i feel exactly the same lost my husband in november would have been married 54 years next month although he had been ill for quite a while it doesnt make it any easier just live one day at a time people think you are coping well but no one can see whats inside you of the pain
it is very had on your own after all the years together

take care

pat

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hi I was married to my lovely hubby for 34 years. I have found New Year very difficult , more than Christmas. I have been on my own and really find it hard to start a new year without him. Lots of fond memories of this time of year. Everyone wants 2021 to be over, but it makes me feel time is marching on. The future is a an empty space. I will be better once I get out and about again.

i have a dog that i take out 3 times a day so she helps me a lot by the walks we do together also i have a friend who comes to me with her dogs too so have a couple of hours with her too as i dont drive she comes to me or picks me up and takes me to hers the hardest is that you cant come home and tell them all about it

i also have 3 daughters i talk to too and one that will take me to hers if i get upset about being on my own

take care pat

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Hi Pat my Husband died 28 weeks ago and it would have been 54 years married last September. I nursed Peter for several years but it happened very suddenly at the end. Nice for him, no more suffering but for the one that is left a very lonely time. And yes, nobody knows how we feel inside. It looks as if we are coping but we are not. The grief is so overwhelming at times. I really don’t know where all the tears come from. Take care we are amongst many feeling just the same. Moira xx

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Hi Moira
yes i did the same for my husband patrick having to help him on oxygen for the last 6months because he had COPd and a lot of other things the thing he was always afraid of catching was covid so really greatful he never got that and yes for me too surprised how he went so quickly over the last 48 hrs but at least i was with hin in hospital giving him sips of water and wipeing this face could see the pain he was in and glad his pain free now
its a shame that one always has to be left behind to suffer when they gone

patxx

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Hi Pat

My hubby Peter had copd too and had been on oxygen at home for 7 years. He was in hospital for an infection two weeks before he passed. They sent him home in a terrible state could do nothing for himself (my belief they sent him home to die), he lived 3 days at home. It was devastating and I don’t think I will ever get over losing him. He was my world. Good job we have each other on here to talk to. Moira xx

Hi Moira
my husband had diabetis too he was only on oxygen for a short while only helped a bit what i was angry about the most was that the doctor never seemed to care never seen him only spoke on the phone i think they took ie it for granted i was there to help him over the last five years he had been in and out of hospital quite a few times with diffeerent infections the final time he went in his oxygen elvel had fell to 30 they rushed him into hospital so i knew it was seriouse then they sent for me as the doctor needed to see me he told me because of all the infections that he had had over the years it was affecting his heart ,liver,kidneys and lungs they kept him alive for 48 hours with the highest oxygen they could and he was struggling to take it in if i hadnt been the for the last 48 hrs no one would have bothered to give him water or keep wiping his face when i got there he never even had water by him they dont give the after life care they should

it is nice to talk to people that understand . Patxx

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I do understand. Looks as if all hospitals treat their elderly patients the same. When Peter went in he could wash. dress. feed himself even make a cup of tea. When he he came out he could do none of it couldn’t even stand or talk. I blame them for the quick deterioration. After all while at home, I had got him through all the Covid restrictions safely (and like your husband he was very vulnerable). We have nothing to thank them for have we?

Moiraxx

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not at all nor the family doctors who just sat at home and talked to you on the phone patrick was 71 so probably on the i dont care list like you i kept him safe through the covid never let him go in shops hed drive me to the shops and wait for me to do the shopping then have alittle 15min walk with our dog but as things got worse health wise there was no help out there he had ulcers on his legs and got infected and we were supposed to have a nurse in to dress them twice a week to dress them then the doctor phoned up to say he didnt need them so had to go to the nurse once a week that gave him creams and dressings for me to do for him
what a sorry state we live in isnt it when your own country dont care about the elderly any more

patxxx

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All I can say had a ditto in terms of not wanting it to be last year. I told daughter & was pleased to hear She had thought the same. X

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think we all feel the same just say the date or weeks as last year feels too far away

pat

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Another day without my husband,life is torture now every morning I just exist till its time to go back to bed
It’s been 14 weeks since Steve passed away and It’s getting harder to carry on I think of him every minute still feel in a state of shock,after being married nearly 52yrs don’t know what I’m supposed to do I’m lost,anxious, heartbroken it’s like living In a nightmare

Christine x

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Hi Christine

i lost my husband nearly 6 weeks ago now we would have been married for 54 years next month together for 56 its a long time to be together then loose them doesnt seem fare that one of us have to go on alone i know
it hrd and i also think of him all the time we are still in the early stages of berivement we have a long road to go down our lives will change now as we get over all the hurdles we have to get through i have a dog thats helping me as i have to take her for walks and i try and keep as busy as i can with my knitting and crochet talking to my friend and family also helps a lot so the days go quicker
i think he would the same as most to just try and stay strong for yourself take one day at a time and baby steps along the way
i dont think any of us exactly know what we are supposed to do apart from from trying to cope with the loss of a loved one and try to carry on

take care and look after yourself
Pat

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Thanks for the reply Pat,I know we are all heartbroken on here,it is good to be able to express ourselves knowing other people understand how we are feeling

Take care

Christine x

Sending love Christine I was married for 54 years until 29 weeks ago. Like you I am heart broken and lost. Cannot settle to do anything. Moira xx

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Hi Moira

how are you today just facing another day best you can i expect

patxx

yes thats the best on here we are all suffering the loss of a loved one so nice to talk to people that understand

patxx

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Christine, talk to people xxx​:two_hearts::couplekiss_man_woman: use your memories that’s a long time married xxx

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Hi Pat

Yes I think we have to take it day by day. 55 years married is a long time and holds a lot of memories. Since June I have cried so much I wonder where all the tears come from. I think the loneliness is the worst thing we endure, Nobody to share a bit if gossip with or tell how you feel. I know I am just one of very many people in this situation but nonetheless I still feel alone. Thank you for listening love Moira