We are told that happy memories will comfort us but when does this happen? Within days of my husband’s sudden death I was feeling so happy and privileged to have known him, spent 44 years together but that didnt last. I feel cheated and memories are just too painful . There is no chance to share them with him, it almost makes the memories, our life together invalid. Then there are the constant reminders, his stuff that I cant bear to throw out. How long does it take for the horror and bitterness to soften?
I’m the same 37 years and now it’s all over in a blink, with me i don’t think i will ever move on he was my life my whole world now it feels like I’m living in a world I don’t know or want to anymore, yes I know exactly how you’re feeling sending you hugs xxx
Yes @Lin22 @Lavenderlady1
It really does take time 16 weeks on.
Very little contact from his fsmoly or mine makes me feel like his existence is not important but i wont do that i had 37 years of happiness and he knew how to look after me. We loved each other and no matter when he left me he still loved me as i still love him today and always.
I cant remove traces of him they are still there. It is strange families dont know or understand the heartache of losing a partner and i hope they never have to go through this.
I am strong and i wll get through the good and bad days and never forget the years we spent together and now the years i now spend on my own
I hate to depress you but I am more than 3 years into widowhood and it gets no easier at all. Sometimes I wonder if the very happy marriage we had for 54 years makes up for the extreme sadness I feel all the time now. I can still enjoy doing things and I have a great family who love me but I just can’t feel happy again and every day is filled with thoughts of him. I feel as though my whole life is just a struggle that I have to get through until it’s my turn to go. I have no idea what will happen after - whether there is an afterlife etc, but I doubt it. How could that be? Does anyone know? Silly question! How could they?
I wish everyone in my position peace and acceptance.
Hi Ann you have said what most of us feel wondering when will it end, unfortunately I personally don’t think it ever ends this pain of missing them so much especially if you’re had a loving husband but I do believe in my heart that my husband is in heaven and we will be together forever one day x
Nothing will ever be the same.
I dont want to think this is my life now i am
only 65 and who knows how long i have left but my mum us 87 and still goong strong so thoughts of another 20 years plus of missing him i cant bear to think of.
I have a couple of friends who call me during the week and try to meet up once per month but nothing else.
I have tried to join exercise class choir book club. Dont have any hobbies except walking and do that on my own.
As his family and my daughter in Scotland have only been in touch ia couple of times in 4 months i dont think i will have any support from them. It is like he never existed or vanished without a trace. I for one will not let that happen.
I dread to think what happens when my turn comes. Family have there own lives and that sometimes excludes the parents !!
Sorry for the rant not everyone has happy families x
Rant as much as you want that’s what we’re all doing I live in Lincolnshire next to the sea so I can walk along the beach and shout and curse without being heard just remember we are all here for each other x
Lin you spoke my words exactly, how to move on when only part of me exists now?
That’s just it we are in limbo land the past as gone we are in the present with nothing to look forward to, it’s coming up to ten months since I lost the love of my life, last week was my birthday first without him, he wasn’t here to say I love you, and for him to say happy birthday sweetheart, I not only lost him that day
I lost my self as well, try and stay strong x
Hi @Lin22 @Kathy6
I know exactly how you feel it was our anniversary 36 years in August and my birthday in October two extra hard days to get through on your own. Life just seems to be going by but now 5 months for me it seems like im back to square 1.
Funeral is over people have stopped calling guess they think i should be coping but unless you have loved and lost someone they dont have a clue.
Another lonely long weekend to look forward to sometimes i just want to lock myself in and hide if only i could sleep but some days are better than others.
Take care of yourselves x
People don’t understand unless they have had this happen to them, another long weekend ahead, will try to keep busy, never used to have to try to keep busy. In fact doing nothing with my man was perfect. Hope your weekend goes ok, sending love x
You too hope your weekend goes ok.
I have been stuck in all week nasty virus felt bad not seen anyone for over a week so planning on going out tomorrow.
It’s not just weekends for me half the time I don’t know what day it is wake up in an empty bed and an empty house that feeling of home as gone it echoes in a way I can’t describe it feels hollow the warmth as gone I can walk into every room and feel cold and alone the silence is deafening is this what we have to endure for the price of loving someone so much I hope for all our sakes one day we will all be able to come to terms with it x
Yes everday is the same loneliness emptiness but i dont know why weekends seem longer as everyday has the same hours.
Not looking forward to the darker nights but guess just shut blinds curtains and hide indoors. Not sure if it will get better but i think we just accept that this is our new life now not what we wanted but we now have to exist in. Taje care x
Yes cozy up and take care x
Hope you’re feeling better soon take care of yourself viruses are the worst I’ve decided this time to not have the covid vaccine just had the flu one and have been fine been such a lot of negative reviews in the press just lately about the covid vaccine x
Yes i just had the covid one 2 weeks ago and was due flu one yesterday but ive been do ill for over a week now that cancelled yesterdays flu one.
Maybe should have not got covid one but i can a cancer scare 2 years back ovarian cancer so still under hospital visits for another 8 years as rare cancer but i feel ok.
But now no one left here to look after me now hes gone. So having to cope on my own i do have a mum but she has dementia and depression has forgotten my husband and says she wants to die. Life is so cruel
My heart goes out to you just hang in there I know you’re husband would want you to get better as mine would and I know you’re feeling low just like me it’s these times when you’re feeling poorly or have been poorly you need them more, sorry to hear about your mum and yes life can be so cruel my husband passed away in hospital in January he was texting me right up until he suddenly had a heart attack and he was gone never got to be by his side all I got was a phone call from the hospital, yes life can be so cruel but we are widow warriors and as long as I’m alive I will keep my wonderful husbands memory alive take care and look after yourself do it for your husband x
Thank you for your kind words.
I know i have to try to get on with life but without him is hard. I need to get more positive thoughts in my head. God has kept me alive for some reason i just need to find out what.
Widow warriors, I like that x