How can it be a Happy New Year?
A year of days I have to spend without you here,
A year of days that start without your kiss,
A year of days with new moments you’ll miss
How can it be a Happy New Year?
A year of days that start with wishing you were here,
A year of days where I dream you are here too,
A year of days with only our memories of you
But I will make it a Happy New Year!
A year of days where your love holds back my fear,
A year of days taking the steps you can’t take,
A year of days making memories you can’t make
I wrote this this morning because I find New Year’s Eve very hard, this year it’s been 4 years just before Christmas. I’ve found it really difficult because I think the expectation from others as the years go on is that you’ve moved on. You never do, you may slowly move forward but not on, things get easier to bear but not because you’ve moved on, you get better at carrying your grief. No one who hasn’t lost the love of their life can ever understand.
Sending everyone all the very best for 2024 May you find the strength to get through
@Jodel712 Thank you so much for posting this. I lost my husband of 40 years in September 2023 unexpectedly after 4 days in hospital. Your words resonate with me. This year was the first Christmas in 46 1/2 years that I was on my own and I struggled with getting through the day. New Year will be another first and will be hard for me again. You give me hope that I will eventually be able to live with my grief. The pain of losing my beloved husband is unbearable at the moment and feels neverending.
Hope you have some peace during this period. Sending you love and best wishes. x
@Jodel712 what lovely words, and words of hope for the future. I lost my soulmate of 35 years in July totally unexpected and this Christmas and New Year are just so hard. I was with my daughter for Christmas but today and tomorrow I am on my own, to make it worse I have an awful cold and am feeling so unwell and lonely. To be honest I can’t see any positives in my life anymore. My partner had suffered with mental health issues all his life and I guess my life was adapted to accommodate his anxiety and depression, people keep telling me that I had spent my life looking after him and that now is my time, they don’t understand that I loved him and looked after him when he had his bad times because I wanted to not because I had to. He was my life and I would give anything to have him back
I can’t be bothered to get up today, what is the point of leaving one empty room for another one.
I just want this year over and then maybe I will be able to move forward. I’m disappointed that neither of my daughters have spoken to me over the last couple of days although they know I’m unwell. They have been great up to now but they don’t seem to realise how difficult the holiday season has been for me. I know one of them had me with her on Christmas Day and Boxing Day and I was grateful for that but since Wednesday I have been alone, the other daughter who only lives a couple of miles away has not even sent me a message since Christmas Day. Sorry for all the moaning, guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself.
I remember going to the doctors in the New Year after my husband passed. His funeral wasn’t until Jan 3rd because of the Christmas period. I wasn’t ready to go back to work obviously so needed to be signed off. He said as much as your children have lost a father their lives are still carrying on as they were, yes of course they’re grieving but the rest of their life is the same. Your life & future has changed forever. That’s always stayed with me because it’s so very true.
I really want to hide away today, but my Mum has dementia & I’m spending it with her.
Sending love
