Hate feeling this way!

Coping with bereavement
#1

Hello everyone

My beautiful Mother died 14 weeks ago and my Dad died 12 years ago. My mum lived next door to me in my brothers house, he moved up to the home house. My mum went into hospital with a chest infection and never came home, Monday evening 14 weeks ago we got a call to say they done a scan on her and she had a blockage to her bowel and her kidneys were already failing and there was nothing they could do!
They made her comfortable in a one bed room and myself my 1 sister and 3 brothers were with her all night and she died on the Tuesday morning and my heart broke in two.
We gave her a beautiful funeral, she was a very happy person always smiling and was my rock she was in my home at least 20 times a day.
Hard enough loosing her but 1 week after her funeral my oldest brother stopped speaking to us all! He distanced himself and started clearing out her house. I am the executor of her will and he informed me to clear out her clothes.
2 weeks after we buried our mum myself and my sister packed all her things up and moved them into my attic.
I’m lost broken and so angry that my brother could do this. We all live around each other on the family land.
I can’t grieve for my precious beautiful mum I’m over took with anger and grief for all the wrong reasons.
Has anyone here been through anything similar?
I waken every day and feel so down, I can’t keep going in like this.

Any help greatly appreciated
Poppy xx

#2

So sorry to hear about your loss. I can understand how you feel, the suddenness and the finality is dreadful. My dad died 8 years ago and my mum died last week, suddenly. Its so hard when the family split when there is already so much sadness. It happened in my family after dad died, my 3 siblings somehow got together and while I was helping mum with the funeral arrangements they began to shut me out and it has continued since. I am being excluded from funeral arrangements for mum and as I am not local its so hard. I will go to the funeral and then go home. It takes time but I just want to think about the good times we had and hope it helps. Dont let the bad things take those away from you. best wishes alicia

#3

So sorry for your loss Alicia
Must be very hard for you not being involved in your mothers funeral.
I meet my brother all the time he lives beside me but we just don’t speak. I’m used to it now, strangers are moving into my mothers house this week right next door and he hasn’t even the manners to tell me who?
I hate that this has happened but not much I can do about it.
I hope you get on alright at the funeral and have plenty of support from others. Take care. X

#4

It is so hard when that happens isint it, especially as you see your brother and having to cope with seeing people moving into your mothers house. My elderly neighbour died in March, I used to visit her and now its strange and sad seeing the new people moving in and she wasnt family, so I can understand how difficult it must be for you. I have been to my mothers funeral now and it was the saddest thing. My siblings sitting in the front together, coming in the car together and standing meeting people at the end. I had my husband and son and my husbands sister and niece with me but I just slipped away with them after the service, it just got to me. Now I just have to get over the loss of mum which I know will be hard. She divided the family really but the times we had when she was with me were very special to me. No there isint much we can do about what has happened, its just terribly sad. I hope in time you are only able to remember the good times, I’m hoping for that too.

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