Hate the new year

Has the new year gets closer I’m getting more depressed. It feels like I am leaving Jim behind in 2021. If that makes sense. I know time as to go on but I don’t think I can. The tears are flowing again like they have been all day I went to cemetery to talk to Jim oh how I wish he was here . I miss him so much my whole body shakes I’m never felt so alone and unhappy I long for the day I can go to him again I know he’s waiting for me.

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Misprint
I feel the same,I’m so anxious,miss Steve so much it physically hurts,dreading a new year without him
I don’t know how to go on without him I feel crushed desperate ly unhappy

Take care

Christine x

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Hi Christine it’s horrible without the jims and Steve of this world I hate it all

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That’s exactly how I feel. I don’t want to go into a year where my wonderful husband isn’t here.

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I am dreading new year, just about managed to get through Chrismas. I feel I have nothing to look forward to, I never liked new year since my mother died on new years day 30 or more years ago now, I thought that was bad enough but losing my husband Brian in August this year has been horrendous. I can’t look forward to a new year without him, all our plans for the future died with him. I just feel I have no future without him. The only thing keeping me going is that Brian did not want me to spend my life grieving and I don’t want to let him down. But this the hardest thing I have ever been through and it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.

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I know that my husband would not want me to be miserable but, like you say, it’s easier said than done. Our entire future was being together doing the things that we wanted to. We had spent years bringing up the kids and then looking after ill mothers. It was meant to be our time, but we never got to it. Take care

Last new year was the start of both of our illness due to covid but nothing prepared us for losing Tony less than 3 weeks after. I’m struggling to stop myself reliving the time over again. Also it means I’m coming up to the one year anniversary. In my head I’m thinking ‘ok I’ve had a year without you I don’t think I can do any more years without you’. I can function but can’t move on if that makes sense.

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I just wrote the exact same thing in my diary, much as I want rid of this year, I feel like I am moving further away from my lovely Steve.
We were never big celebrators of New Year, preferring Christmas but would stay up to watch the fireworks with a tipple but this year, I would just go to bed, but you can’t hide from the sound of the fireworks around you. Today is 20 weeks since he died and I can’t believe it’s been so long since I touched his face and heard him laugh.

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I love my husband. Been together 23 years. Lost him in March 2021, tragically, very suddenly. I miss him so much. I literally think about him every moment of every day. I just want to thank everyone who has posted in this category “Losing a partner” for having the bravery to post their thoughts and feelings which have been so comforting. Until now, I have been unable to post my feelings. I just want to say that I am tired of 2021. I want to look inwards with love in my heart and carry him into 2022 with so much love and passion. We are still together and always will be together. Forever. Entwined. No matter what the year is called. So, love always, I hope in some way my post helps you. Love you all and thank you for your bravery and kindness in helping people like me by simply saying how you feel x

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That makes total sense.

What a lovely way to put it

I lost my husband over a year ago. Christmas and New Year hurts a lot especially in the isolation and uncertainty of Covid. But a few days before Christmas I found myself wanting to paint. I am artistic but not a painter. My husband was and when we went to our house in France he would paint. I still can’t easily go there but in painting my picture I found a huge peace. I am sure it was a peace born out of a connection with him and what he had taught me. I sent it to my closest cousin who had been I’ll. she loved it and because of that I painted an image that developed out of it and sent it to some friends as a New year card.
I think what I want to say is that I felt he was with me for a while and it felt so healing though it makes me cry.

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I to like painting jim used to love seeing my pictures but after.his death i didn’t want to do it anymore without him to look at them but then I did one ,one evening and it took my mind off of things for a while since then I’m done some more and sold them with money going to get him a headstone so that makes me want to do more

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Oh my goodness, these are really lovely, well done. You are very talented. I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband in August 2021, it so hard. I used to love making cards but couldn’t face making any this Christmas. I know at some point I will go back to it but not yet.

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Thank you for your complement nice to have someone else appreciate my art just done another one tonight

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Lovely drawings.

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Thank you it takes my mind off the grief for a little while x

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That is so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing

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I’ve only just found this group, but read your post and I could have written it myself. I lost my husband in October, and as time goes on, nothing seems to get any easier. There are just bad days, and really bad days. I feel in a strange way like I died too, my life and all purpose seems to have ground to a shuddering halt. I was his carer for the last twenty years, and before that we worked together and were in each other company for 24 hours a day. I lost my brother over 20 years ago, and have grieved ever since, but losing a partner is so much worse because it changes your entire world. I find the future very frightening, and am finding even small decisions so difficult because the person you made all the decisions with for all those years, isn’t there. At least with this group we know that we are not alone with these thoughts, and at least we can reach out to others who truly understand.

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Welcome to the group Izzyc sorry for your loss we are all struggling with grief mine seems to have got worse since Xmas it really brought it home that I’m on my own and this is my life now WELL I DON’T WANT THIS LIFE THANK-YOU I want my old life we had our struggles as my husband was not in best of health and I was his career for last 20 years we was together for 30 years but life was good. I have never lived on my own all my life I’m been with others it’s awful on your own only me to sort things only me to fix things I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. Jim didn’t expect to leave me that day he went into hospital . If I could go back in time he would never have gone into that filthy place to catch sepsis . Since then I’m heard of a lot of people goin into this hospital and not coming out they just don’t care about older people anymore. To much about covid and not bothering about cancer or any other illnesses. THANKYOU NHS FOR RUINING MY LIFE .