So I finally managed to go out for a walk by myself today. It’s Saturday and I felt like the walls of the flat were closing in on me. This was my first time venturing out by myself. How did I feel? It was okay, I guess, I kept putting one foot in front of the other, kept telling myself the fresh air and exercise is good for me. But all I could think of was that in the houses I passed by there were families, families that are all together, busy indoors, maybe cooking, doing home improvements, watching TV, maybe even arguing but the fact is……they are all together and busy with their lives. They probably didn’t even look out of their windows and see this lonely women walking past. No, the loneliness never leaves you and then you have to let yourself back into that silent flat and the loneliness continues.
Hi sakinah I no how you feal it is the hardest thing out going it alone when you have always had a hand to hold. I to find that everyone semes to have gone out of my life and your not apart of things any more weekend are the hardest everyone has someone exsept you so I go out in the week if I can for a coffee a Wark act at weekends if I go warking it’s in the morning you have to keep trying different things if you don’t work try helping out in one of the charity shops just for an hour or two hope you no you’re not alone there are a lot of us in the same boat xx
Thanks for the encouragement Cj13. Yes it’s never going to be easy again. It would be so nice to have a companion to walk with but then again, you can’t just pluck someone out of thin air. So what’s the answer? Stagnate at home or just get on with it. I just hate the weekends now.
Hi sakinah
I’m sorry for your loss and your in this terrible situation . Weekends are the worst for me as I lost my wonderful partner on a Sunday very suddenly . I now have panic attacks when I go out so I usually go out very early so there’s not many out , it’s just all so unreal and never ending…
you should be proud of yourself every step is a milestone in this awful journey we find ourselves in
Take care hugs to you
Thanks Janeets. It’s taken me over 7 months to get enough courage to venture out alone. The thought of it terrified me. Outside my flat is a huge harsh world and one my beloved Talat is no longer in. I just feel so vulnerable and insecure. When he was here I used to love going out with him. How our lives change forever when we lose our loved ones. I’m dreading the dreary winter months too. If I could crawl into a hole and hibernate like the animals I would do so in the blink of an eye. Sending hugs your way.