Havent yet grieved

I lost my dad who i was very close to in oct 18 i havent grieved i cry for seconds then stop is this normal

Hi Lozza13

I am sorry to read that you have lost your Dad. October is not very long ago so it is likely you are still in a state of shock over the loss and especially as you were very close to him.

It is very hard and very frightening to lose a loved one and everyone is different in what happens and how they feel. Some people cry a lot and others don’t seem to much at all. I have heard that crying helps to relieve tension so allow yourself to do so if and when you want to and as much as you need to.

Maybe if you are really worried see your GP. They could help you and maybe recommend some relaxation techniques. I found this type of thing worked for me, techniques of mindfulness.and similar.

Keep coming back to this forum as everyone here is going through or is about to go through the same horrible experince of losing someone. It does seem to help knowing that I have found and that everyone is so kind and non judgemental.

Take care of yourself

Thanks for reply i was with dad when he passed at his side for 5 days worst experience ive ever had think i will take your advice and see gp

Oh Lozza you poor thing, that is really hard for you. I was with my Mum when she passed away and although it was peaceful in that that she was unconscious it was still awful. I felt the world stopped turning when it happened, very weird and it all went completely quiet for a while.

What was said to me then was that it is a privilege to be with someone you love when they pass away. You are beside them, they may well know you are there and you are seeing them on their way. I was with both my parents which has in some way always comforted me.


Sorry for your loss it is awful he went peacefully he was trying to say something but he couldnt get words out just kept saying i i i thats got me wondering my grief will come i just feel guilty because it hasnt happened yet like i dont care if you know what i mean

Hi Lozza.
From what you say you sound very much like me in that I don’t break down and cry for any length of time. It’s almost like controlled crying or sobbing and gasping for breath. I feel like I’m going to cry and my eyes fill with tears but I somehow don’t go through with it. Sometimes I wonder if I’m denying myself a therapeutic benefit. I wondered if I had been brought up and conditioned not to cry. It’s maybe an aspect of not showing emotion. Also it gives me a sore throat.
I don’t think any of that means we aren’t normal. In fact is there such a thing as normal. Who decides that. If you are feeling the loss then you are grieving in your way.
If you keep in touch with the forum it could benefit you in reading about the experience of others and how they feel. You may find similarities, you may find differences, as in most things.

Thank you for your reply yes im the same dont know why im very soft seems like its hardened me up on a strange way