My loving , kind , happy go lucky husband died Suddenly in January 2019
Some days it feels a life time ago sometimes it feels like yesterday. I miss him so much My grief is a constant ache. He has missed so much in the last 21 months it’s so sad. His darling grandson still asks about him and his new granddaughter is almost a year old . Our sons have been so supportive to me , he would be so proud of them! However he wouldn’t recognise me , I’m no longer the confident bossy happy person he knew so well, we were married so young Thought we would grow old together!
What I do know My husband Paul , would want me to smile again and remember all the good times we’ve shared. SO. Let’s start a thread remembering good times that made us smile …
I will go first… the time our Labrador fell off our boat on holiday… my husband jumped in like a super hero and lifted him out . Once in the water he found it was only shallow and our dog could have jumped back in himself !
We were all in tears with laughter and never let him forget it !
Love to all Ang xxx
Lovely post Ang . Like you we laughed through our lives together . He was so accident prone - luckily none of it doing any real harm . I Remember Gary wearing odd boots on stage - they were more or less the same colour but totally different heel heights . How he didn’t notice we couldn’t work it out - he must have had to limp ! . The singer was laughing so much he couldn’t stay standing up never mind sing . Good times .
Take care love xx
lovely memory Ang, we had so many funny moments together, Alan was obsessed with the first world war, what he didn’t know about it, didn’t happen, he was re-turfing the front garden with the help of his cousin, being clay based, they were digging trenches and filling with bricks and crocks for drainage, the heavens opened, the pair were drenched, Alan was complaining, I just happened to mention that he always had this feeling he’d been in the trenches in a former life, so he should be used to it, his cousin laughed, Alan pushed him, the pair of them slipped and ended up covered in clay mud, I wasn’t letting either in the house , made them stand in the rain until the mud was all washed away , I stayed indoors in hysterics making them hot drinks. but they both did laugh about it afterwards though. still think it was funny. Not thought about that for years until now, so a huge thank you Ang .
hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today
blessings
Jen 
Well done Ang. I was going to stay away from the forum for a while, fed up, but I can’t resist this topic.
When I first met my husband he went out on a speed boat and to my surprise they stopped by a buoy out in the Solent and Brian climbed onto it. He sat on it and hung on with one arm and took action photographs of the boat going past at speed. No life jacket and he couldn’t swim. I thought this man is quite mad.
Many thanks.
Pat
xxx
What a good idea to put our good memories on here. One of my very happy memories is my Ron on the night before one of our daughters getting married was as you can imagine he had been out with our son-in-laws stag do and he came home very very happy . He fell on our bed and the lovely wedding cake was on a table next to the bed and then he fell if the bed and damaged the cake. He was devastated luckily the lady lived up the road so on the day if the wedding she came and make the cake like new. As you can imagine the Best man put it in his speech so there was quite a few laughs. Thankfully all ended well. Love my Ron so much.xxxxx. Carol xxxx
Awh thank you everyone , for your lovely memories . It’s good to smile thru our tears! Not easy but good
Love to all
Ang x
Do hope you don’t leave, Pattidot - i LOVE your posts!
Hugs, AnnR
Hi Ann thanks for that. I was becoming a bit sad about the way the forum was going but today I realised there are so many lovely people on this forum and some lovely Topics are coming on. So I have decided to ignore what I can’t cope with and concentrate on you great people that make this forum so very worth while.
Pat
xxx
Hi Pat, I was about to give you a severe talking to about leaving the site but I’m pleased to hear your staying. As a lover of gardening and nature I needed your presence on this site because your practical attitude is very inspiring. Also, you are much further along this journey than me and your comments give me reason to hope.
Bless you, AL x
Yes, I know what you mean but, as you say, the secret is to ignore the posts that are likely to upset you. There are a couple of people on here that have a rather blunt way of putting things which makes their comments sound aggressive. They sound as though they would be likely to start a fight in an empty room! I ignore them, don’t even read their posts at all. It always amazes me that some people seem to come on here to get at people when everyone else on here is looking for comfort and support, I don’t know what they get out of it.
That said, there are a lot of people on here (you included) who, when I see they have posted, I feel happy and look forward to reading what they have to say.
So, I am so glad you are staying.
Hugs
Ann x
So agree with you Ann I love reading all the posts and they help me a lot. I do t take any notice of the negative ones only the positive ones. My glass has always been full not half empty it is hard sometimes but this site keeps me going.xxx Carol xxx
Yes Carol, I agree. I think it is our positive attitudes that keep us going and help us to cope. Also, being able to talk to people , friends, like you on here helps too. Ann xxxx
Aw Al, that’s lovely of you to say. I was a bit fed up of the negative attitude that was taking over this site but I think with so many lovely people we can get it back on track and we can all do the thing this forum is meant for. Show support and love to each other.
I know that there was other lovely long standing members that were also on the verge of packing it in but hopefully they will stay and offer their much needed input.
Been working on my allotment all morning and enjoying the lovely (southern) sun.
Pat
xxx
Hi Ann
How very well put. I love “Start a fight in an empty room”. So very true. I also try to ignore these posts now as I foolishly became involved at times nearly two years ago, and still we are hearing exactly the same comments. This site is not for arguing or fall outs, it’s meant to support each other. I agree with you, what do they get out of it. What do they want us to say or do for them as they admit they don’t want our help. I am totally confused by their ongoing attitude. I am not even going to be drawn into reading their posts and keep to the lovely people that do want to make conversation or need some support.
Pat xxx
Hi Pat,
I appreciate your positivity and admire you for pushing yourself and getting on with things, but there are people with more recent loss than yourself who are struggling and need to read the negative posts to feel they are not alone, after all this is a grieving forum, yes it’s lovely to hear about people who are further along in their ‘journeys’ but also we need to hear the struggles and awful feelings we all get, so we don’t feel we are going mad .
Hi Steph
I do agree with you and totally understand what you are saying. After months on this site I managed to read one of my first posts and couldn’t believe it was me who had written it, totally not me. With the help of many people on this site I did manage to find acceptance over time although we think we never will.
I’m afraid there is negative and again negative. Some members have been around for a long time and still angry and will show it. A helping hand is not for them and it will be thrown back at you which can result in arguing and insults, I’m not in favour . The newly bereaved are different altogether, they are trying to make some sense of their loss and of course they are negative and want to speak to other newly bereaved to offer each other support. This is what the forum is for. It helps us to know we are not alone.
Those of us that have been on this journey for longer try to help the newly bereaved and give them hope that their life will somehow continue. A different life, but nevertheless a life.
I don’t call it being positive, I just think of it as getting through each day with reasonable ease. I am sure some of us don’t want to feel so rubbish for ever, while others never want to be released, they want to keep their grief with them and it is their choice. We all have to find our way that is best for us and ‘talking’ on this site helps us to do that and to make some sense of our emotions. We do however have to remember we are here to help each other and to offer love and comfort.
Take care
Pat xx
Yes I agree, we are all here to help each other, and should be able to voice our feelings without confrontation, I couldn’t be without this forum, it is helping me so much.
Thank you .
Me too! I don’t like the squabbles either but suppose it is inevitable to have them when people’s ’ idea of how bereavement should go Differ so much.
I shall just make sure that if I come across negativity, I won’t read it. I w I
I’ll concentrate on my regulars (you know who you are) who give considered, undestanding and unbiased advice. Thanks to those lovely people x
You are welcome 
Hi Steph
I am so pleased you are getting comfort from the forum. This is why we have to try and keep it welcoming and understanding. Sometimes we have to be careful and give some thought to what we write and try not to offend. But above all be here for each other when needed.
I have been here for nearly two years and many times thought it was time I left but here I am, still here. I think there is always something that we can offer each other if just to chat.
Pat