Health anxiety and other things

I lost my mum in October last year and I’m early 40s. I thought I was coping but have had a few weeks off work and feel I’m getting worse. I keep dreaming about her (woke up this morning in tears after a dream about her). I cry and have physical symptoms and have seen the GP so many times since November as feel I have got a serious illness (my mum was super healthy and so am I usually so it can happen to anyone which scares me). The last few days I have had backaches, palpitations, arm pains, lethargy and a bit of dizziness today. Prior to this I have had pelvic pains, a cough etc. I have spoken to the GP twice this week and they say I’m fine and just have some muscle pain as I worried it was liver or kidney probs.

I just want to know I’m healthy and will be ok. Everything else in my life is great but I feel terrible and worried I’m really ill… I am awaiting CBT.


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Hello. Firstly I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I am 44 and 18 months ago lost my stepdad he was out lives for 23 years, such a lovely man and loved me and my sister like his own and was a super grandad, miss him terribly. tnis hit us very hard so I can’t imagine how you feel loosing your mum. Also I have suffered with health anxiety since my daughter was born 8 years ago, it can be a crippling anxiety that can leave you feeling out of control. and I also am waiting for CBT. I know how you feel with having this health anxiety. My doctor is Amazing and explained to me stress and anxiety bring on so many aches and pains to the point you can feel like your dying. My doctor gave me a full MOT and everything was normal, which made me feel better. Waiting for results was my worst nightmare and I lost so much weight with worry but in the end all is fine. This message is just to let you know your not on your own and this is a very common and crippling anxiety. I hope I have helped you even if it is just a little. Take care xxx

Hello and thank you for replying. It’s good to feel I’m not alone and I hope you get the CBT and that it helps. I’m sorry that you lost your step-dad, he sounds like a wonderful man. When you said you had a full mot from the Gp can you tell me what that was? I think I need that as only had some checks such as a urine test, heart tests, an X-ray, mammogram and blood tests but all were a few months ago.


I had exactly what you had plus a smear test , all bloods eg blood count, liver function etc. have you told the doctor how this anxiety is making you feel? Xxx

Not sure I have had the liver function test and I think I will go back. Yes it’s the GP who said I have health anxiety and just feel they get up with me! I’m wondering also if I’m getting panic attacks (never had before I lost my mum) xxx

You need to see a doctor who can help you with your anxiety instead of focusing on your health. It was the anxiety that made me feel
Poorly not an illness. Panic attacks are so horrible and can make you feel so poorly. Try on concentrate on your anxiety rather than your illness and I promise once you sort that you will feel generally better I. Yourself even though you will still be grieving. You have been through such a traumatic time xxx

Ah thank you so much for this advice, I have never really thought of it like that and will go to the GP about helping with this anxiety. They did prescribe me sertraline but I haven’t taken it. They say I’m not depressed but it does the same job for anxiety. Last night when going to sleep I kept jumping as felt my heart was stopping so now I’m worried about this as have pain on my left chest! It’s getting silly! I will call the docs today xx

The jumping and heart stopping is the anxiety, another symptom I had. I’ve took my tablets they are the same as they prescribed you, they have worked. Take them even if it’s 6 months it’s only like treating another illness, you would take antibiotics for an infection. Don’t feel defeated by tablets, believe me they work. I wasn’t depressed it was anxiety. Life is to short to be worrying g about dying, get this anxiety sorted chick. Xx

Thank you, your words have been so helpful to me. I have the tablets ready and will start them tomorrow. I’m going to also call the GP as have had a further worry today about something health wise and I can’t keep doing this. You sound like you have worked really hard in getting better, you’re an inspiration. Xx

Ahhh glad I have helped. I haven’t sorted it completely but feel ok at the minute so I am able to help as I know how awful it is. I still have a long way to go but in the right direction. Another bit of advise, do not Google. I’ve stopped doing this and that has helped too xxx

Sorry for your loss I lost my dad suddenly in March he was at work before relatively healthy only 60 I’m 34, since then and a little before it (I’ve always suffered from anxiety) but it’s become more health anxiety since my dad also fear what the day will bring since my dad died , I’m on anti depressants which have helped a little I’m also having cbt , I also worry about everyone around me and their health, I do have aches pains and terrible
Stomach issues all associated with anxiety, panic attacks and palpitations since my dad died , also went through a phase of not going out or leaving the house which is slowly lessening as time goes on but I’m constantly having to challenge my negative thoughts it’s exhausting and hard work but normal when you have experienced a loss x

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Hi Cheryl,

My name’s Neil, Anne’s son. Thanks for your post. I hope your anxiety is troubling you less now. I’m so sorry for your loss of your dear Mum :frowning: My Mum died in February and I have often felt like I’m dying myself since then and often, sadly, have welcomed the prospect. I am used to doing a lot of physical work but am able to do far less since Mum died. Sometimes I am barely able to walk. I feel so exhausted.

I am autistic, 58, socially isolated and live in the countryside far away from people. My Mum was my main source of human contact and I used to stay with her for a week every month or so.

A counsellor from CRUSE has been visiting me weekly, which helps and forums like this one are invaluable. I find great comfort being in the company of other bereaved people online. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

I have crippling anxiety and panic attacks and I feel like I need to cry all the time. I hardly leave the house. I will ask about sertraline. I am so health anxious too and I have that night think where I gasp as I go off to sleep as I feel my heart slow right down then it races as I jerk awake.

Dear Neil,
I hope that you are okay. I am glad that someone from CRUSE visits you in your home. I feel as if I could do with that service.
Best wishes

I’m sorry this reply is late, I didn’t get an email alert for this thread. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and it’s so hard isn’t it with health anxieties. I had a chest X-ray this week and all clear but I’m still worried as getting pains and what feels like a cough and wheezing. It’s one thing after another. I’m waiting on CBT but not as yet started tablets. I had an assessment today through work and he said about mindfulness and living in the here and now and also a website which I will look at
I wish you well and things will get better xx

Hi Neil
I am so sorry for your loss? It’s so hard losing a mum. Even harder for you being so isolated but that’s great about cruse, I really wish you well through your grief. Have you got any support groups you could get to? I guess with the countryside you can have some lovely walks though.

Hi Rebecca
That’s exactly what I get with going to sleep but not all the time. It sounds like you really need some support, i hope there are local groups to you?? X

I am determined to look into it. I want to feel better! Good luck with your recovery.
I just shed a few tears so may start feeling a tad better. I think I have been keeping too much in for too long!
Tip: A cheap way of getting into Mindfulness is to get membership at AnxietyUK as it gives you a year’s membership to Headspace which is cheaper than buying it directly xx

PS my gasping isn’t all he time either - but at very anxious periods it happens many times during the night.
Those with Medical anxiety- think about buying an oximeter. They are cheap (battery operated) accurate and offer great reassurance plus they are pocket size so portable. Often we feel like our heart is going crazy and the oximeter shows that it is okay and that the oxygen level is okay and it then calms you, in my experience.

Oh wow, I have never heard of those. I am going to look now and buy one! That’s a great thing to use and thank you for that x