I’m 22 months into this awful journey since I lost my husband. We had been together 50 years.
Previously I was a healthy, confident person, now I have got aches and pains everywhere and health anxiety. I have just had loads of blood test which have all come back ok.
How on earth can I get rid of this feeling of stiffness, joint pain and generally feeling rubbish?
Anyone else feel the same?
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Hi so sorry for your loss. Mine is more recent at 17 weeks, but I have lost a stone and a half and have numerous aches and pains I didn’t have before.
I’ve been relatively fit, even at my late 70s age. Now my arms and legs are all flabby, caused by the loss of weight no doubt.
Before I lost my Jackie, I often went out for walks of 5 miles or longer. Now I struggle to do a couple of miles. Still, I’ll get back some of my previous fitness.
You look after yourself. 
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Yorklan, You are special to me as you were the first and only person to answer my post in the early hours of the 2nd of April. Can I suggest some gentle exercise, the favorite ones of mine and Elizabeth were on youtube. Once you get to youtube just type in “chair yoga with sherry zak morris” She does seated chair yoga to music most only last 5 minutes or so and they are quit gentle but keep you moving.
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Our minds and bodies have suffered a terrible shock and will take time to recover. Routines are all different and i know that i am sitting about more which is meaning stiffness when i do get up and about. I feel exhausted all the time and doing any normal things like shopping and cleaning takes a great effort. I think we need to recognize what we have gone through and give ourselves some kindness for a while. We will gradually make new routines step by step which will help with the anxiety of an unknown future. Please know you are not alone in feeling like this @Yorklan . I am almost 6 months in and still feel rubbish. I also feel impatient with those who seem to think i should be back to normal already.
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Good points about causes of exhaustion. I would add sobbing to the list as well. Even though tears ease stress, they can be exhausting, especially if you cry most of a day, like me today. 
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Thank you all for your replies and encouragement. It is surprising how many of us need this site.
Take care everyone and I’m always here if anyone wants to chat.
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@Yorklan
Yes, I’ve noticed increased joint and muscle pain since losing my wife in December 2024. I’ve had hip pain for a long time but now it seems to be every joint in my body and, at times, it’s off the scale. My blood pressure has also fallen!
Stress affects the body in so many ways it is no wonder that we suffer these symptoms.
I’m so sorry that you have to endure physical as well as the mental pain of bereavement.
I take Vitamin D every day which should help because it is such a vital vitamin. I also find a cube of dark chocolate can help ease joint pain, but maybe it just makes me feel better!
Take care.
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Having read your various messages I think it helps me explain various things which have been happening to me recently. I lost my Keef in February 2023, but recently I have seemed to have develop a number of physical issues such as joint pain, which makes me feel so much older than my current age of 67. My son thinks that a lot of this is down to the stress I’ve been undergoing recently in doing up the house, getting rid of unnecessary things of Keef’s and incidents relating to the house, such as power cuts and strangely broken windows. I think that I just need to use mind over matter and sort this out, but could be it’s all related to losing Keef.
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know where you are coming from. been 3 yrs since i lost hubby of 49 yrs,since then my health has gone downhill. iused to be really active, even had a volunteer job up to a yr before hubby died.
now i find myself sitting around all day, i cant walk very far any more cause of joint pain etc, i go out about once a week to local shops, i have no interest in anything outside the house and very little inside. i shower about once a week, would never have allowed my hair to go grey, would have dyed it straight away, only do housework when i have to. ido have health issues but every little ache, pain etc makes me panic. i eat ok as have son here so have to but certainly not cause i want to. i fnd myself sitting here sometimes wondering if this is my last day. i am 69 is this what my life is going to be like from now on.
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This place and a cousin of my wife’s have been a godsend to me. You look after yourself xx
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I feel the same, I don’t want to think that this is my life now. I used to do so much walking and exercising, but it’s so painful these last few weeks to do. Sometimes the aches disappear if I go for a walk, like when I go to visit my counsellor who’s about a mile away, but it’s more about persuading myself that I still can do things. I too spend a lot of time sitting around. I just hope I’ll be able to cope when I go on holiday at the end of August to Italy.
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Is anyone interested in joining a WhatsApp group if I start one up?
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There is one set up by the Sunday night zoom meeting team run by @KarenF
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Excellent post.
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Yep,
I was quite active and very strong for my petite frame . Now I’ve lost 1.5 stone ,lost most of my muscle mass , I feel really weak and my arthritis which was under control now hurts all the time, I have constant headaches . My blood pressure , heart rate and blood sugar are all up.
The physical changes are pretty shocking , I feel I’ve aged 10 years in a few months .
It’s crap innit .
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It sure is JanetteR1
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While really sorry that you’re feeling so awful physically it was a bit of a relief that I am not alone in feeling so physically rubbish. Twelve months on am trying so hard to move on a little but ache everywhere and am overwhelmingly tired. By darling husband of Fifty four years is constantly with me but the physical discomfort is overwhelming at times. Sorry, not much help for you but let’s hope it’s just another stage in this unwanted journey. Not sure where it will take me though.x
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