Health Problems

I lost my soulmate of 41yrs 10 weeks ago and, at first, I thought I was doing okay but over the past few weeks I’ve developed a few medical issues that weren’t there before. My blood pressure was checked in Jan and was fine but now its through the roof and I’ve been put on meds. Also developed heart flutters and palpitations. Has anyone else had this problem? Is it normal and will it go away on its own? Truth is I’m scared out of my mind!

Hello Maggie, So sorry to hear about your loss and I understand your worries re your health. 6 months after my daughter died I developed so many physical problems I thought I was going to die as well. Prior to her death I hadn’t seen a doctor for 17 years so in desperation I put the search term ‘physical symptoms of grief’ into Google and the articles that came up were very reassuring. Hope that helps but if you have concerns do see your GP again as I’m sure he’ll understand. Best wishes, Kathy

Hi MaggieM

I’m no expert but do think there must be something about loosing someone you love so much . I’m in the same boat . I lost my soulmate wife best friend approaching one year ago on the 14 th June . We were together for 30 years . Good days bad days horrible days and got to be honest still not sure how I’m doing when people ask the obvious question of how you doing . I too have had horrible joint pains stiff knecks headaches to name but a few and have visited my gp more than I have ever done including raised blood pressure and cholesterol . I’m convinced it’s connected . I’m going to follow Kathy’s advise and look up on google . Hopefully this may give us all a bit of reassurance .

I wish you all the best

Jem

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Hi folks. Yes it’s normal sadly. Stress does weird things to the body. I too have high BP and cholesterol and headaches like you wouldn’t believe. My GP prescrubrd tablets but also encouraged yoga and exercise as well as a low fat diet. If you can try to eat well (at all) and take some gentle exercise you will feel the benefits. Believe me it’s true but very hard to do. Take care and so sorry for your loss. xx

Hi MaggieM, so sorry for your loss.
I also lost my husband of 34 yrs, almost 11 weeks ago.
I thought I was doing well in the beginning too but by now realise I’m not.
I keep getting odd symptoms, like feeling unreal, also had a couple of episodes of palpitations. Got this churning stomach too but that could be anxiety related. I get very scared of living alone as well. There are so many symptoms associated with grief that I didn’t know about. Take care, here if you want to talk.

I was going to say it’s funny but obviously it’s not but I also have periodic feelings of been scared for no reason . It just comes on for no reason . I’m not even sure what I’m scared about when it does loom it’s ugly head but I used to be so happy go lucky but since Susan left me the mind plays so many funny games with you.

Hi Maggie, yes very normal. I lost my husband seven years ago. Suffered with panic attacks etc. etc. (Always a good idea to check things out with your Doctor though). Living alone plays havoc with your mind, especially when also grief ridden. It’s awful, but for me and from reading about others on this site, it seems (unfortunately) to go with the ‘territory’. Be kind to yourself. My thoughts are with you at this sad time. Annette xx and ‘oh dear’, Sade has just come on the radio, one of my memorable tunes…Your Love is King, apt.

Hello Maggie, so sorry about your loss, it is still very early days for you. I lost my darling husband 31 months ago after 38 years of marriage and still experience heart palpitations, anxiety and other physical symptoms. I have a very good doctor who, after excluding any other causes said it was a stress related condition related to bereavement. Try to take one day at a time and not think too far ahead. Also don’t keep your feelings bottled up and talk about your husband to family and friends. Try to rest as much as possible because grief is exhausting!

Funny ? I don’t think so. These feelings are real.

Yes I know they are totally . I was agreeing with those feelings and can totally recognise with them . Hoping I wasn’t understood

Sorry I misunderstood you as saying they were funny. I have been in a bad place today and been sobbing all evening, I found the comment upsetting at first. So sorry to hear about your loss.
Take care.

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Don’t apologise . I know easier said than done but try and keep strong and always remember you are not alone . I’ve often thought when feeling low and upset that there are people out there in exactly same boat as me . Some even with even bigger struggles .

I genuinely wish you well and try and take good care of yourself . Make the most of the times when you feel strong and positive and ride the times when you feel low . That’s what I try to do .

Thank you for your kind advice Jem.Today has been the worst so far, I think I’ve shed more tears today than in the past 11 weeks. What makes it worse is that I’m a slowly recovering agoraphobic of many years with anxiety. I thought I was doing well in the beginning but since reality set in it’s been a rollercoaster of feelings. Take care.

Hi Jem, I found a website called ‘What’s your grief’ very helpful and written in a way that’s easy to understand, not heavy medical terminology. And I do identify with the anxiety. Before my daughter died I was calm and confident, any health niggles were just something that would pass - and they did - but now I tend to worry if it’s something more sinister. Oh to be able to control our minds! Best wishes, Kathy

I’m the same Maggie I’m sorry for your loss

I can totally relate to what you are going through . I really can . I struggle to understand why some days for a brief time I can feel quite upbeat about the moment and the future and feel quite positive then for no apparent reason you have an horrible day where tears never seem to dry up. It really is so hard and I feel for everyone who is going through similar struggles and pain. Never realised how life coulf be so cruel and such a struggle but I keep telling myself that I must carry on for my susans sake . I hope you can do the same and find some strength to battle on and beat this. I really do wish you well and hope you can find a way through . Take care

I am relating to everything on this thread. My sweet closest sibling, my younger sister is gone only 7 weeks. My blood pressure is soaring, I am short of breath, hardly sleeping, and eating very little, but what I am eating is not healthy. I am fearful, and feel a cloud of doom is over me. I was always the healthiest in the family, active and had an ability to roll with life’s punches. I was the one who held everyone else up, but now I’ve been brought to my knees. I work in the mental health field, but even there I feel less able to give to my clients because I am tapped dry inside. When my beloved sister died, so much of me died too. How does ones find enthusiasm for things that used to have meaning, when you’ve lost the most important person and the very light of your life? I know you are all asking the same question. The sun is shining here today, but my world feels so dark.

Hi Sister2 and Jem,
I too can relate to everything you’ve written.
Bless you, so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 16 weeks ago and my world has turned upside down. I am totally lost, lonely and so afraid. Sleep is disrupted, I was already an anxiety/ agoraphobia sufferer, now all that has got worse.
I too feel under some dark cloud, people remarked how strong I was when caring for him but little do they know what I’m like now.
I cannot find enthusiasm either but hopefully the sun will shine again for us one day. I try everything from mindfulness meditation, breathing exercises, relaxation etc but all seem in vain at the moment. The old me has disappeared.
My heart goes out to you, Pegi X

Sorry I haven’t been around lately and thank you for all your replies. 20 weeks since my Michael’s death and I’m still a bit of a mess. The GP prescribed meds and a 24hr monitor for BP and its now relatively under control and had a series of blood tests which came back mostly normal - a few minor anomalies but the heart palpitations are still ongoing and they’re really scaring me. They were clearing up but now back with a vengeance. Wearing a 3 day Holter monitor at the moment and I’m running out of space on the form its been so bad. Could this be stress related or anxiety? I’m hoping its nothing more. I’m trying to get my life back together but the health issues really aren’t helping. I feel like I’m taking one step forward and half-a-dozen backwards. I cry for my other half and the palpitations and racing heart frighten me so much that they make me cry too. Has anyone else suffered like this? Any advice would be welcome as I feel as though I’m drowning.

O Maggie everything you mention I totally associate with to the point I’ve started shedding tears . I lost my best friend and wife just over a year ago and it’s as roar now as the day she left me. Like you I sometimes think I’m getting a little stronger and then something or someone knocks me back and the heart starts to tear and the tears run down my face . Keep trying to move forward with little steps . That’s what I am trying to do . I do hope you keep striving forward . It’s not easy is it but like many people say you and us are not alone . Take care .

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