Heartbroken and pregnant

My fiancé passed away suddenly on 29.9.16, the morning after he turned 39. He died in my arms on our bedroom floor. I was about 16 wks pregnant at the time, I’m now 21 wks and I’m a total mess. My heart is broken and I don’t know how I’m suppose to cope.

So sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you.

Keep as healthy as you can as you have a real part of your Fiance inside you who I hope will bring you many years of joy and happiness.

Mel
Xx

Hello Heartbroken, firstly I want to give you a warm welcome to our Online Community. I really hope that by joining us, and hearing from others who are going through this lonely journey, it will help you to keep going.

It must have been devastating for you to see your beloved fiancé die so suddenly. I expect you are still feeling quite numb and at this point, not sure how you will cope, both for the rest of your pregnancy and after the baby is born. Please try and talk to someone, possibly a family member, friend or Gp about how you are feeling.

I hope that you are able to gradually come to terms with losing your partner, and find happiness with your new baby. I am thinking of you, Jackie

In reply to heartbroken and broken.

I do hope that you are getting adequate support as this is an extremely traumatic event that has happened to you. For the sake of your unborn child and yourself, please access everything you possibly kind. Invite people to your house and join networks where you can meet people = whether that be church groups, pregnancy groups, bereavement groups. There is support out in the community but you have to find it. Join the local library if you still have one. The boards are full of information. Access Sue Ryder Foundation, Cruse or whatever is in your area. Don’t be put off by first responses as not all services get it right first time. This does not mean that they are not going to help- just that they are having a bad day or are stressed themselves. I worked in mental health so not writing blind on this. I am 60 years of age and therefore have worked through other bereavements in my life which has prepared me for the loss of my husband whose death was not sudden like yours. You must be feeling very guilty that you could have anticipated what was going to happen. You couldn’t and the blessing is that your husband didn’t suffer. Mary

Yes I am getting lots of support from friends and family, they have been brilliant and I’m thankful to them all but they all have to go bk to their own lives each day and that’s when it hits me all over again. I feel waves of panic and hurt and I feel like I’m drounding, he was my life. Every time I shut my eyes I can see him lying on the bedroom floor, his face all gray and me screaming his name while I’m doing cpr. It haunts me!
I feel like I’m to blame, I couldn’t save him and I’d give anything to have been able to save him.
After the ambulance arrived they did there thing for about 45 mins then when they told me he was gone they said I could go see him, I laid on the floor next to him with my head on his chest while I breathed him in, I wanted to stay there like that forever… now I can’t sleep in our room, Iv been on the sofa since it happened, it feels wrong to stand on the floor where he was, I want him bk so bad, I want his big strong arms wrapped around me and for him to tell me he loves me.

Hi Heartbroken and pregnant I understand completely my husband passed away at home in are bathroom I to did CPR on him until the paramedics came and took over also spending 45 minute on him and allowing me to lay next to him at the end why they stopped doing everything and yes just stay there like that forever.
what you have to know is that he would have loved you and will continue to love you. you have him with you and your baby is going to be your light at the end of your tunnel.
Be strong eat and look after yourself and know that there are people out there that are going through this as well and with the help you will be able to keep going for you and your baby.
Your baby is going to have a guardian angel looking after him/her in there dad. Sending love Hug and know we are here for you xx sirina

Hi I’ve recently just joined, I lost my partner earlier this year totally different circumstances but we had just had our baby boy, 3 months after having our baby my partner was killed in a car accident. My whole life ended that day but I knew I had to be strong for our baby as I had to be both mummy and daddy. You get a lot of support but no one really knows how your feeling. This will be our first Christmas without him and it’s so hard, I was never the strong one it was always him he was my rock. Thoughts are with you and family,
I know it’s hard but try and stay healthy and strong for your little one, mine is the only thing that gets me through the days.

Hi deone, I’m so sorry to here about your partner, Iv thought about how horrible it would of been if my fiancé had passed while he was driving and although what I went through was horrific I’m so glad he was at home and in my arms. I feel so heartbroken for you that it has happened that way. I do envy the fact your partner got to meet your little boy and hopefully you will have pics of them both together, I am still hurting at the fact my partner will never meet his daughter and I will never have a pic to give her when she is older. I am also very scared to have this baby by myself and don’t know how I’m going to cope without him. This baby is the only reason I haven’t lost myself, I want to drown my sorrows but I know I can’t. This Christmas we would of been together 3yrs and engaged 1yr, I don’t know how I’m suppose to be happy when all I’m going to do is think about him. I have an 7yr old son from a previous relationship and I have to keep things normal for him but I’m on the verge of braking down.
I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas and ill think of you when we toast round the table. Thankyou for your message x

I hope I’m not stepping out of line here but I recently joined this online community as I too lost my partner. I have found it helpful but also joined the charity called WAY, it’s for people under 50 that have sadly found themselves in this position. I have found it to be a huge help, everyone is super friendly and helpful. It’s £25 to join and I was relctant but was also desperate to find something where I felt less alone and it has certainly helped me with that. They organise local events for people to meet up and you’ll find a lot of people in a similar situation that you’re in. Give it a look, WAY- Widowed and Young. Hope you find some help and peace xx

Back to top