Heartbroken need to chat

Hi all I’m new here - I lost my dad suddenly about 2 months ago and my world has fallen apart - my mum is totally devastated as well as I so I’m trying to stay strong for her and I don’t want to burden her with my grief but I really need to talk
My fiancé was sympathetic and kind for the first few weeks now he rolls his eyes when I get upset as if I’m supposed to be over it already - I’ll never get over it my dad was an amazing dad who I loved dearly - I suffered with mild OCD but since my dad passed it seems to have escalated- my fiancé finds it hard to cope with my OCD and my griefing and last week he threatened to throw me out of our flat if I didn’t stop my ways - that has also left me heart broken that he could just throw me away after what happened to me with my dad recently that proves to me he can’t think much of me - just need to chat really and maybe some advice - thank you :pray:


Welcome doesn’t really sound right. It’s sad that you need to be here at all, but I hope you find help here. We are all going through something very similar to you. Of course you want to be strong for your Mom. But maybe she is the first person you should be talking to. She is also grieving, she will have time and space for you. You’re fiancé doesn’t sound very sympathetic. I want to tell you, my Dad died 12 years ago and there are still times I tear up if I talk about him, but my husband still listened patiently. He cared about what I was feeling. I don’t know what your fiance’s problem is. Focus on your Mom. You are in this together at the moment. I don’t usually give advice in this way, but it seems to me to be good step. I’ve lost my husband, but my kids show me their grief and talk to me and I’d be sad if I thought they couldn’t do that.

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@Sad3 . As someone who has lost a husband l know how your mum is feeling and you might find she needs you to cry with her. get together, talk about your dad, laugh and cry together, sob & wail if necessary, being strong has its time, but releasing those feelings has to take precedence. Neither of you can progress through this time of emotional pain until you let go.
l am disabled, housebound and alone and when l grieve l wish someone was here to help me through it. My sister visits and because she has been through the same (loss of son) she understands my pain.

As for your boyfriend, l think he just doesn’t know how to help you.

As Angelina says focus on your mum and your self.

My thoughts are with you

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Thank you for your reply :heart:

Thank you for your advise me and mum do talk about dad but we both start to get upset and she says let’s talk about something else :disappointed:

I totally understand what you have described about losing your dad, I lost my dad in 2020 in lockdown it was so traumatic, my dad like yours, he was my hero my best friend, my mum had lost her husband of 55 years so I was in the same situation as you, you need to cry, scream whenever you want to! It was so hard to help my mum through her grief I tried so much to support her too through my own grief, share your lovely memories with your mum & share your grief with each other.
My poor mum never got over losing my dad, she developed ovarian cancer & from first symptoms she was gone within 5 weeks, I was heartbroken all over again as it was only 2 & half years after dad,
So just spend all the time with your mum help each other❤️
I have been lucky my husband lets me talk & cry whenever I want to, but he loved my parents too & we cry together!
Time makes it easier as I learned from losing dad but as it’s only 4 months since mum I’m still trying to come to terms with her not being here!
Keep talking we’ll get there

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I feel for you I really do- I didn’t think I’d survive without my dad but if I lost my mum as well I think I would just give up
The pain of losing One parent is so overwhelmingly to lose both must be the worst thing in the world
My heart goes out to you​:two_hearts::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

That’s hard on you if your Mom won’t talk about him. I also get upset talking about my husband. Maybe talk instead about her, how she is, what she’s doing with herself. She will probably bring up your Dad when she can cope or feels the need to. Meanwhile you are showing you are there for her. Maybe focus on how you’re feeling right now, rather than about him as such. It might be as a result of him, but it’s more immediate and it’s pertinent. Perhaps in this way she avoids talking directly about him and you get to talk about how you feel. Maybe she needs to learn to do that and accept that it’s okay to get upset. But it might be she avoids getting upi. It’s quite nice if/when you can think about other things and, although it can be helpful, it’s not nice being upset. It’s a minefield where other people in the family are concerned.