I am completely numb and lost today, my dad died on 14th Dec, he had been unwell for a number of years, but it was very quick and peaceful at the end with family beside him, then my husband of 45 years passed away on Monday 19th Dec, he had fought cancer for 3 years and kept pretty well throughout his journey until a few months ago, we knew time was getting closer, but not as quickly has it happened. My husband was my best friend, soul mate, love of my life we only needed each other and did everything together. I don’t know how I can go on. We do have 3 wonderful daughters and 6 grandchildren, the youngest who are so excited because Santa has been. We are going to be together as a family today as that’s what hubby would have wanted, he loved being with family. We will smile for the little ones sake with broken hearts inside. My dad and hubby are together, that gives me small comfort, but is life worth going on. The first man who loved me and the man that protected me and loved me for 47 years gone within days of each other. How can I get through this.


Dear @Mary.Mac

Thank for bravely reaching out to the Community, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father and husband.

There is a useful Grief Guide that contains information to help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief.

You get through this by taking one day at a time as grief is a rollercoaster of emotions with good days and bad days. Grief is a journey not a race and you must be gentle with yourself. Your grandchildren will help to keep you going.

Please take care of yourself.


Dear @Mary.Mac i am so sorry for your double loss and it’s understandable that you are wondering how you will go on.
I lost my husband to cancer 6months ago and I was thrown into an indescribable loneliness as I had cared for him so long and never thought his life would end.
However I have taken one day at a time and with no family to support me I have made it to this milestone. Grief is something we each encounter uniquely but shock, fear, anger and panic seem to come along and I’ve become familiar to them all.
You will find so many of us here that have walked this walk so take some time to read the stories and find anything that helps you on this journey .
My thoughts are with you
Jen x


Hello i lost my wonderful husband three years ago. He was in hospital for none weejs and the week before he died they told us he didn’t have cancer just an infection. I was devastated we had just celebrated our second wedding anniversary whilst he was in hospital. We had found each other late in life. Then four months later my wonderful mum passed away followrd by my stepdad 7 weeks after her. Some days it takes all.my strength just to get out of bed and go to work. I miss them so very much. I put on a brave face to colleagues and friends but behind closed doors the happy face comes off and yhe loneliness and grief reappears. Some days i can be oksy other days just want to curl up in the corner and cry. This is the fourth Christmas without my wonderful husband and third Christmas without my mum and stepfather. I aldo have the added grief of losing my little boy when he was six days old. Although that will be 31 years ago next week the loss is still very raw. I know i will get through this grief eventually but Christmas makes it much worse as they all loved Christmas.


It is my first Christmas like you I worked with my husband we were together 24 hours a day he was my best friend soulmate. I have done today as I know he would want me too for my daughter and my dad ad we lost my mum also he always made Christmas special for my dad and daughter
I know he would want me to do the same I have had a mask on all day but i did it
My husband pass away in his sleep so we didn’t even discuss what he wanted but I know he has been with me all day giving me the strength
We have to do it for they memory

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I am so sorry for your loss. I have been down my sister’s so wore the mask all day. It was a hard day as there were all couples around the table except for me and it highlighted the loss more. I did say i wouldn’t go down this Christmas but she told me i was being selfish and would ruin her Christmas. She wasn’t close to my mum and stepfather and didn’t do anything when they were alive and never saw them at Christmas. Every Christmas dsy i made sure i spent time with them and sometimes had Christmas dinner with them which wete happy times. They used to come to.me every boxing day. I would go and see my mum every single day without fail.until.my husband was ill and had to spend more time at the hospital but still made sure i spoke to her on the days i couldn’t get there.and aslo my stepfather. I feel every Christmas that i am the oh we’ve got to have here even though her husband and daughter are rude to me. I have woken up this morning waiting for them to get up as im not allowed to make a drink or anything and cannot wait to get back to my own home where i feel safe and at peace. Next year i am going to be brave and spend Christmas at home with a friend who i.met when our husbands were in hospital. She had the same problem as me with her family so next year we will spend it together.