Hello just wanted to say hi feeling a little lonely and don’t really know what to do with my self lost my hubby two weeks ago today we have four children 11,15,17,18 I’ve started to sort out all his clothes today as this was his wish I don’t really know how to act do I just go with the flow? Lost is an understatement any tips please xxx

Hi sorry for your loss all I can say is get as much support as you can don’t say yes to anything you don’t want to do keep talking about your husband and take one day at a time people deal with grief in their own way.
Christine x

Hi im very sorry for your loss .Your nightmare is very new ,take it at your own pace ,the phrase o a charity can make use of his clothes i disagree with ,if you find it too painfull leave it until another day ,week month ,year .Dont plan if you dont have to ,maybe go to the doctors for emotional help (medication ,im on medication ,maybe phone the Samaritians to offload (i do this frequently ) .Try to take some me time however small ,because your nightmare will patiently wait for you to return to it .Keep coming back here to chat other people wzill help im sure ,and no one judges on here .Colin (im 59 my darling wife Denise passed 04032016 on her 41 st birthday )x

Hello. I am so sorry for your loss and your children’s loss. Please don’t do anything you’re not ready for. Even though it was your husband’s wish to sort clothes, he wouldn’t want it to cause you unnecessary pain and suffering - it’s too soon. Do it when you feel ready. It’s 16 months on for me and I still have most of my husband’s clothes even though I have sorted them a bit and moved them around. You don’t have to go with the flow, this is massive. Don’t make any hasty decisions for you or your family as your mind will not be in a good place. Take it slowly - your grief is unique. Keep chatting on this forum, it’s helped me a great deal - all of us understand exactly what you’re going through. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you love and hugs xx

Hi. So sorry for your loss. As others have said, take everything at your own pace. My dearest Janet died 10 months ago. I am Still heartbroken, I am sure I don’t need to say. Think I always will be. I have passed some of her coats and shoes on to her daughters. They have found having some of their Mums stuff a comfort, & its a comfort for me to know her things are still in the family. Some clothes I have tidied. Most are exactly where they always were. As time has gone on I have found I have “tidied”, but really I don’t care if it is still there in 5 or 6 or more years. It gets done when it gets done. (& if it never gets done, does it really matter?) . I have put some aside for our local Sue Ryder shop, but even talking to the shop (lovely people) about it I found too upsetting. I cant bring myself to do this yet but there will come a time. Sorry, I have gone on about my situation, but I hope it helps you. Do what you feel you can when you can I think.

And - Keep talking too. And cry when you need. Maybe share and encourage your children to talk and cry when they want too? Maybe someone can advise you about that. It is so so hard, I cannot tell you how hard. I don’t suppose you need to be told that mind.

Thinking of you and your children. … Richard.

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