Hello,
I’m so sorry for your loss and sadly know how you feel.
How old was your son? My Son was 30 when he had a sudden cardiac arrest. He too had just started to say he felt he had sleep apnea and had bought a machine to use. He only had that 5 days when this happened. The coroner was going to open and close the inquest, but I wasn’t happy with what the pathologist had said (he said hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) so we got a second opinion. We have had many tests and are still having them but the inquest has remained open, giving me time to research everything. My Son has 2 very young children and I need to make sure genetics for them.
If you aren’t happy get a second opinion.
Sorry we are here, it’s so very wrong.
Lisa
Hi
Thank you for your reply, what a horrible club we are members of. I’m sorry you are part of this too.
Our son was 26. I don’t know whether to just let the coroner say whatever - I think it’s already been decided - and accept it, or if we should be fighting for something. I’m annoyed she won’t look into sleep apnea or the results.
We wrote the statement about our son yesterday and asked for the Prevention of Future Deaths report to be considered. I expect that will be denied too.
A heart specialist’s report (which fed into the postmortem) stated they did not know the cause of the ventricular infarction/inflammation. Assuming this doctor didn’t have access to any other report, it didn’t feel biased towards writing him off as a drug user!!
The PM stated they believe - due to “literature” (?) - the issue with his heart could be related to cocaine. Which - if it was - must have been due to him trying to stay awake! We had absolutely no idea so it was a huge shock to us. If the NHS hadn’t taken almost a year to see him/treat/test him, he may not have felt that need. And that’s why we’re so keen to get those results… emailed the doctor on Monday but not had a reply.
We don’t know enough the process to know if we should be asking for more info (like you have) or just accept that it isn’t going to change anything and let them fill out their paperwork and issue the certificate. Feels like a fight we can’t and won’t win.
Thanks again for your reply; very much appreciated, and sorry again for the loss to your family, especially his little ones.
And I forgot to mention, the PM showed a lipoma, which was 3cm. Google tells me at 4cm it would be removed. These are linked to sleep apnea. (Fully aware Google is only Google and not a medical professional!).
The coroner was still not interested in obtaining the sleep test results.
It’s so awful.
I would recommend contacting Cardiac Risk in the Young. CRY UK. They are online and have been the most supportive to me and my family. From them I got a second opinion on my Sam. I’m so glad I didn’t accept the open and closed inquest as the coroner first said. We had an awful coroners officer who was so judgemental! I will deal with him after the inquest.
Please do contact CRY they truly are amazing as a charity.
Sending love x
Thank you so much
I didn’t know about them - it’s all been such a blur… I thought I’d had a lot of clarity and had been on top of everything. But with the inquest in less than 48 hours I feel like we’re running out of time to get upto speed!
I didn’t know you could appeal or anything like that; I’ve really struggled to find anything about the inquest process. Wish I’d found this post weeks ago!
Thank you very much x
Your coroner should have told you about CRY.
If you aren’t happy then it’s easier to say now than wait until after.
You know best, it’s your child.
X
Really?
They’ve been quite obstructive to be honest. The funeral directors were amazing, and even they had words with them!
That’s very disappointing they didn’t tell us. X
I lost my beautiful son James suddenly and unexpectedly in July 2024. The knock on my door changed my life in an instant. James died of Sudep having only been diagnosed with epilepsy 10 months prior. James had 2 post mortems and i waited 7 months for an answer. I didn’t attend the coroners inquest and refuse the written report. James died alone, a vision that wakes me up in the morning and kisses me goodnight in bed. I lost my wonderful boy after loving him for 31 years and to read or hear about the details of my failure will only add to the daily heartbreak that already dominates my life. I fully understand others seeking answers and i truly hope you do.
Laura xx
Hi,
Do you have your son’s inquest tomorrow?
How on earth do we get through this, it’s too much. It’s so wrong.
X
Yes it’s today.
We got the reports last week. I wasn’t looking forward to opening them, wasn’t sure how detailed they’d be. My husband read them first and thankfully there was very little we didn’t know. He was worried the wording in them that suggested the photos were attached. A bit more consideration from the coroner’s office about that would have been kind. I guess it’s just their day to day work for them, and hopefully they haven’t had to go through this hell themselves to appreciate how difficult it is!
I’ve got no idea what today will bring for us. I am feeling very unprepared and quite naive to what to expect. My only hope is nothing is said that comes as a shock, or leaves us with more questions that we’ll never get answered or feeling worse than we already do.
It may sound very odd, but I have similar feelings to those in the run up to the funeral. Hoping we didn’t forget anything, hoping we won’t think of something afterwards that we should have done or said, or that our son would have wanted but we didn’t think of it. It’s another day you don’t want to happen but can’t wait for it to be over. X
@Lisa7093
Have you had the inquest? How did you get it so it wasn’t opened/closed - did that add more time to get further tests completed? X
It’s going to be tough for you, but I’m hoping you know everything.
No inquest yet, I asked for more time as wanted a second opinion and genetic tests on family. These are ongoing, We now have a better coroners officer who isn’t judgemental in the emails.
When you feel you can let me know how today went for your Son and you. X
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