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Hi , I lost my husband, I am a widow, there I’ve said it, I’ve never admitted it before as I still think I’m married but 12 weeks ago a big part of my heart died, the love of my life , our hopes and dreams , the plans we made are now all gone .
Grief is a very personal journey, no one can tell you how long it lasts or how to feel, every day is different you wake and lose them all over like some carousel you can never get off,
My point is I’d like to help , I’d like to help someone like me all be it our journeys may be different we are still on that same path, just to know that you’re not alone that there is someone to talk to…me, I am here even if you don’t want to talk about grief or even if you do , you want to talk about anything ,anything at all I’m here

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Hi. I’ve just seen your post. I’m also a widow but I still think of myself as married too.

My husband died in April from skin cancer and I don’t like being on my own. I have grown up children and young grandchildren but it’s not the same.

I miss his company daily, just his companionship. Just him being there sharing our days together.

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I lost my husband 13 weeks ago and im totally lost lonely and some day i think i cant go on living like this Its not living its just existing getting through the day to wake up the next morning to feeling the same I don’t sleep I thought i was a strong women but ive gone to pieces I tried councilling 14 days after he left this world but told the councillor i didn’t think it was for me, i thought i could cope. I think i was a bit hasty and im going to call and see if i can talk to someone today This is the hardest thing ive ever had to go through

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Hi jeanie, think we are all in the same boat hun , it does feel lonely, I have younger daughters 12 and 14, my 20 year old has flown the nest and has a lovely boy of her own, but I still feel lonely and miss his company , just remember however you feel is not wrong , we don’t have to be strong all of the time , keep waking up every day and breathing , even if that’s all you do that day , any time you need a chat I’m always here , hugs hun xx

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Thanks for your support. I think with me it’s the mundane stuff I miss… the general chat, not that he was much of a talker but discussing the day, my teaching (I teach yoga), our appointments, what’s happening in the world, in a programme we’d been watching etc. Just stuff. Obviously important things I miss too but it’s the day-to-day stuff I think has hit me the most.

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Hi dynamo, I lost my hubby on the 22nd of July from oesophageal cancer which spread everywhere including the brain, he was 41 , I feel how you do , we are living in hell , I do think the councilling was a bit early given the fact you won’t have dealt with the many stages of loss,
You are a strong person as even though you feel like crud you get up and keep going , that’s all anyone can expect of us at the mo, one day at a time one step at a time, I don’t sleep much either if I’m honest, yes it’s hard but I think of what my hubby would say how he’d be saying you’ve made it this far , keep moving forward .
If you feel its the right time to get help then please do, but I’m still here if you fancy a chat xx

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Hi JayeJaye
Your husband passed away the day after my Cliff i spoke to Cruse today 12 weeks before i can get any help no groups just telephone and zoom they said ? so I just have to basically get on with it but any chat or time you can give to chat would be great , its just so tough
Im so sorry your hubby suffered and so young…
Cliff died of brain Hermitage, he died in the ambulance, just such a shock its so lonely without him i miss all the time and I have no control over my emotion i can be ok one minute and sobbing uncontrollably the next life just pants at the moment
We lived for each other we had a few friends but no family
Thank so much fir your reply thank goodness i found this group big hugs

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Bless , hugs to you too , I only found this group last week , we are all going through hell and to chat with someone who knows a bit of what you’re going through helps , and if I can help in any way then my time is not wasted, I’m so sorry about your husband , it must of been such a shock for you but please know you are not alone, xx

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Hi jeanie , yes I do get what you mean , it’s taken me a few weeks just to watch emmerdale as we used to watch it together its the small things , the big things seem very daunting so we focus on the small things as they don’t hit us as hard as say birthdays or anniversaries etc, the small stuff we cope with a bit better I think xx

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I’m so sorry for you all, I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through. I’m not a widow so apologies if my comment isn’t entirely welcome. Reading your comments is heartbreaking. I lost dad in June but it’s mum I’m thinking of because she’s lost her world, her rock and they would’ve been married for 43yrs this December. She’s not technological which is a shame as I think if she were to join this group and read your comments, she would feel like she’s not alone. Mum’s and your grief is on a whole other level to mine of losing a parent and I just wish I could make it easier for her. I just want to send you all my warmest wishes that you’ll one day soon be able to live again and not just exist as one of you mentioned. Grief really is a journey and different for all. I hope my message hasn’t upset anybody xx

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What a beautiful person you are , your mum should be very proud, but please don’t think your grief is any less than mine , losing someone you love is devastating no matter what the relationship, trust me I know having lost my mum at age 18 and my dad 10 years later , life is very hard and will knock you down at any opportunity, its how you get back up and keep moving forwards that count , tell yr mum she’s not alone , hopefully you can help each other move forwards hugs to you both xx

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@Jayejaye73 thankyou, that’s so kind of you to say. I don’t feel so lovely lately because all I feel I’m doing is being snappy and horrible to mum and my sister. I think it’s because I just want to take their pain away and I’m always wanting to make sure everyone else is okay before myself (dad was like that, the most selfless man I ever knew). Mum’s worried about us but I tell her to not be.
You’ve had your fair share of losing loved ones :cry: at such young ages, that must’ve been devastating/extremely difficult for you, beginning Adulthood and then your world crashing down. To now, your recent bereavement. You’re such an amazing person I can tell, sending your love and hugs to everyone on here saying your messages are open, you really are a kind person, I can see such strength in you. I’m sending you big hugs back aswell xx

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Thank you xx helping each other as we go through these terrible sad times I think can help loads .
Dont be too hard on yourself being snappy is just because you feel so helpless at not being able to take your families pain away , tbh I think we all wish we could , think of it another way, the pain we feel is because we love the ones we lose so much , I’m not going to use that silly cliche time heals because it’s not right , but over time we learn to adapt and cope with things better , keep your chin up hun and just being there for your family will help loads hugs xx

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Thank you for sharing this and big hugs to your mum and sister. We are suffering so much pain your grief is no less than mine or others on her Bless you lets hope we all get through this traumatic time where we learn to cope with out loss I don’t believe that time is a healer I like to think that our loved ones , the one we have lost help us to live and cope with our loss as he always helped me with while he was here I try to think of all the loverly memories we made together and this helps x

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Hi Jayejaye,
I just read your post and your bio and it feels so similar to mine, I lost my husband coming up on 11 weeks this week, we were both 48 and I have 2 teenage children. I still feel a sense of unrealness about what has happened though, I still think of myself as married and still tick that box when I need to. The children keep me up and moving, although I still haven’t returned to work yet. I have moments of real despair but I think of my kids and try to move onwards. I’m at a bit of a standstill though§ as we are still waiting on cause of death which haunts me constantly. Thank you though as it helps to know that their are others out there who feel how I feel x

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@Jayejaye73 :heart:
@Dynamo1 thankyou, hugs to you too :heart:
I agree about not using the time is a healer phrase. I think that needs to be rephrased because I too believe that over time we adapt to living/coping with our grief. Grief never goes away so we can never be fully healed from it.
And I think that’s a good way of looking at it, being snappy shows how much we care(d) for our lost loved one. Memories are all we have left of them so I hope that one day we will all look on our memories and feel happy and warm and currently not sadness and pain xx

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Hi lilyboost, I am so sorry you are in this terrible situation, to not know must be heartbreaking, I’m 48 too although hubby was 41 and I get up for my kids also, they kind of help without realising it as I don’t think I’d have any motivation otherwise, I don’t work due to disabilities and thank god for my very close friend who comes round every day for coffee .
It is hard on all of us who have lost someone ,just know you are not alone and if you need a chat I’m here xx

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Thank you for your offer of support. It means a lot. I’m 57 years old, lost my husband back in March. He was a young 60 year old.
Selfishly I wish he had been poorly, just to give me time to prepare ……. I’m not really sure that’s how it works. But to be discussing our day one moment and gone the next ……. I’m plodding on, sometimes think I’m doing ok, Im wondering if I’m still in shock as I think I’m coping to well

Dee xx

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Hi dee, thanks for yr message , I’m sorry you are in this situation, it must be so hard for you, I hope you have family and friends around to help you, I am not sure if you can ever prepare for this my hubby was told he was terminal right at the end of 2019, I knew it was coming but I wasn’t really prepared, just keep plodding on hun every day you get up and breath is a positive result, I’m sure yr hubby like mine would not want you to be upset all of the time , but if you’re upset then that’s OK too, this grief is your journey and whatever way is right for you is not wrong, xx

Yes Dee it pants my husband died of a brain Hermitage 14weeks ago nothing prepares you for this I been through every emotion possible from anger to uncontrollable sobbing fir hours I miss him so much but Im so grateful now after reading so of the posts on here that he didn’t suffer Its just it leaves us suffering but i wouldn’t of wanted my Cliff to suffer he was such a good man and brilliant husband Time does’nt heal i just think we learn to live with this grief and manage our lives the best way we can your not alone Dee we are suffering together big hugs x

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