I lost my wife four years this coming January, it’s took this long for me to use this site. I went to Cruise when I lost my wife first off…only to be told it’s too early to contact them, I tried counciling through Trent PTS only to be told they can’t get involved as there is a litagation case in progress, so I have been left in a stupa, no help, no counseling just “get on with it” seems to be the hardened blunt answer, but how do you get over your beloved partner being murdered?? You don’t…that day repeats in my head from the moment I woke up to bidding my wife a good morning and kissing her before I left for work…then that horrible phone call telling my wife was dead…murdered by the hands of released killer. The police services, prison service, probation service all had their own misjudgements, they all failed in a system that’s not worth the paper it’s written on, that led to my wife’s demise. But how do I move forward?? How can I move forward if there isn’t a process or practice available to support and guide??


I am so sorry for the horrible situation that you are in. Losing a loved one is hard enough without such a horrendous situation and the battles that you also have. It is never too late to contact counselling. Have you tried Cruse again? You can also sign up here on the Sue Ryder site. You may find a useful site as well. Keep posting here as well - people are very supportive.

Thank you Jules, I’m just concerned that Cruise may give me the same answer as Trent PTS? I’m just so lost, plus now it’s had an affect on my physical health as well…in and out of hospital, 20kg lost in two months…the A & E doctor asked if I am under any undue stress…well there’s your answer. I will try that site as well that you kindly suggested. Thank you

Whether there is litigation or not, bereaved people need support. It’s worth checking as you shouldn’t just be left whilst the wheels of litigation grind slowly. Do you have family / friends to support you?

I now only have my sister in law who is obviously in the same situation as I. I have two close colleagues/friends from my old work, who really I don’t know what I would do without them. No family of my own.

2 years for me on the 4th January but it seems like yesterday. Sending you best wishes from someone in the same position x

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That’s really hard but your two good friends sound like they have been invaluable. I think Cruse should be willing to counsel you - they must have had people in your horrible situation before.

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Thank you Debz, welcome to the community, I’m new here as well. I know it’s hard especially at the start f a new year, having those memories and thoughts with you. I understand what you are going through…I would like to say it gets better, but when you have constant reminders surrounding you…it is very hard.

Yes Jules I shall give them at try and see where I get. Thank you once again