Help

My mum passed last week and I’m struggling. We have moved in with my father as he’s broken. Everyone is so upset and so am I. I haven’t seen my children for over a week and I’m also grieving. I just don’t feel like I’m coping.

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Dear tulip,

It is very early days for you so I am not surprised that you are upset and finding it hard to cope. You have your own grief to deal with, as well as your father’s grief. I remember too well how devastated my mum was when she lost my dad. One of my sisters and I stayed with her for a while. There is not much we can do to take away their pain, but just being there for them, making sure they eat and drink and have someone to talk to if they want will surely help them. And in a strange way, helping others in their grief helps us too.

I can understand that you miss your children. I missed my husband and my son very much when I stayed with my mum (she lived in Holland, so not near us), but at least technology makes it possible to stay in touch. Do you have a WhatsApp group with them?

Try to be kind to yourself in the next few weeks and months, and just take one day at a time, Grieving takes a lot of energy, I found that I could onky do a few small tasks a day to begin with.
I hope you find some comfort in reading the posts and replies on this site from others who write about their loss.

You may want to re-post your message in the categorie ‘Losing a parent’ to have more chance of people responding to your post.

Sending you a big virtual hug. Jo

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Thank. You so much for replying. It’s lovely yoU spent the time to support me xx

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