@To All
Today I’ve forced myself to go to shops and put some washing in. I’m sitting reading this forum. I feel so angry and sad that I can’t make people feel better. I wish as we all do that I had a magic wand 
. Omg things would be so different! I plod on each day trying hoping wishing and praying that I get through anyday and maybe just maybe things will get a little easier. If I can be of any help on here to others please reach out. I’ll be there. Take care everyone. Xx
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Yes i agree it is hard trying to adjust to a different type of life. I lost my wife 5 months ago and still finding hard to adjust. To life .i am still looking for the rewind button but i can not find .i hope all on here are well
There is one word on here i hate probably everyone does CANCER. what a horrible word that is lossing so many people with that horrible word hope all friends on here are good. Xx
What a nice surprise i have just had. My niece just called and said i am here to make your bed .very nice .i can not mine because of my problems. I fall over .
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Yes i was nice just sitting here typing on here.then a knock on door what a shock a nice shock that was xx
@Beachwalks Im so sorry that you have now family or friends back up. Families can have issues but friends should be around if they are friends at all.
Sometimes people can’t face calling or talking to a bereaved person when that is exactly what we need. People cross over the road not knowing what to say which is absolutely ridiculous.
I’m lucky I have a good network from friends , my family, n one or two of Johns family which is encouraging
Today been a toughie after registering and speaking with layperson n tomorrow more so as I’m going to see John…I will sit n talk to him for a while.
At least you have this community to share your feelings with and know that we do care if no one else does.
Keep strong 
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Hope you are all getting through today best we all can.
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Just been out shopping to see something different. Trouble is I’m too fast and focused so the trips don’t last long. Hope you feel better today.
Hi everyone I’m in work and been busy so I haven’t been thinking to deeply about things, yet, so how’s everyone doing today, my love and prayers I send to you all
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Hiya hope you are having a good day
Soso for me went out which was hard went in shop 1st time without my wife. Nearly crying in car on way home xxx
Dave I cry in the car quite often thinking about Sammy all I’ve got to do is hear the wrong song and I’m in tears x
Yes that is it more so when queen come on .then i am gone.i have my own music in car but can’t listen to it …all our favs on it xx
Just waiting for my fresh bread to cool down.then i can have my lunch xxx
@Diggerdave
Since I lost my other half I haven’t been able to have the radio on in the car. We loved soul and Motown. I’m gonna try though I’ve thought about going for a long drive around some of the places we used to go parking up and just letting it all out. I want to shout and scream and cry. Xx
Yes i know what you are going through .i can put our favs on like queen and abba and also four tops xx
@Diggerdave
You probably think I’m quite mad. But at the moment I feel like exploding. I don’t know wether I’ve got to the anger side of grief or what at the moment. Just need to get it out. Xx
No your not mad grief just creeps up on you so many different stages to grief . I feel sometimes suffocating just with all that happened . I get angry at the fact my husband had that spreading in him and didn’t know.
As i said before. There is one word is so horrible, i hate. The word is. Cancer. What a horrible word make people’s life hell . The word for me. Kidneys. Both horrible words xxx
I have had horrific day and I’m numb with shock.
I went to the funeral directors after trying to find it in an area I have no idea of. It took me over an hour.
I wanted to put a letter and photograph of me in Johns top pocket so he’s not alone.
The woman asked me to come through and she opened a door with another straight opposite where I thought we were going n my darling John was immediately on the right and I was just not expecting him to be there and I’ve never fainted with shock before but I nearly did and had to turn round to compose myself. She could’ve warned me by saying ‘ he’s in here to your right ‘ but nothing…
When I looked at him he was absolutely nothing like my John only thing was his beautiful hair and his right hand. Again another total shock as when I say he was nothing like I really mean it.
I showed her the photograph which is going on the order of service which I was taking to printers and it was her turn to be visibly shocked. I don’t understand why he looked so different but she said it was his mode of death…I find that so hard to believe…Horrendous
Not a cuppa offered n I had to drive back to printers, it was shut but website saying open n then drive 5O odd miles on motorway back home to my house.
I drove through tears and shaking visibly and heart thumping…A terrible experience.
I have to get my head round how used to look not how he looked today but it’s going to be difficult…
Large V n T at the moment which is not like me but I feel I need it…
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